Monday, August 8, 2016

In a zone

Well...here I am...

...in a zone.

Things have been good lately.  Things seem to be falling in to place in my head - nothing high, nothing low - just even and level.  Decisions are easy at the moment and I can see the road and the goal ahead.  All the bullshit is just falling effortlessly by the wayside.  If I could bottle it, I would because the struggle right now is minimal.  Seems hard to believe that I could ever feel any other way.

I've got to learn how to maintain this strength, this resolve for a lifetime.  I've always told myself that it all matters, but in the end "all" really isn't that much.  I have to be kind to myself, I have to make time for myself, I have to be mindful in making food choices, and I have to be patient.  If I can continue to do these four things, I can reach this goal that has seemed, at times, insurmountable.

Exercise has always been an issue for me - it's not something I naturally gravitate to and I've had back issues lately, so I have to be mindful of that, but I've come up with what I think may be a solution.  Now all I have to do is DO IT!

I meet with Mr. Evil twice a week and we concentrate on weight lifting.  He really does kick my ass - it is never easy and he refuses to believe that I'm a fat old lady that can't do it.  I have to say he is one of the most encouraging people I've come across.  I might even secretly say that I'm enjoying....nevermind...I'm not say that.

That's the only exercise that I've committed to, though he has told me that I need to get 45 minutes of brisk activity on two other days.  While I've been more active overall, it has been hit or miss.

I'm pretty busy at work most days, but it can vary from walking everywhere to where I get close to 7500 steps or it can be a "meeting" day where I get few opportunities to get some steps on the activity monitor.

Given this scenario, I've committed to myself that I'm going to finish each day on the elliptical with the goal of reaching 10000 steps.  If I've walked 7500 steps by the time I get home, I only have to do 2500 steps; if I've passed the 10000 step goal, I'm golden.  However, if I've only done 3000 steps, that means I have some work to do.

As far as the back stuff goes, I've seen everyone - chiropractic, physical therapy - all of it.  The thing that is working is a deep-tissue massage every two weeks.  It has helped me a ton.  I also use a heating pad every day for about an hour after I go to bed at night.  I'm not a pill-popper, so that's not on the table.

I hope, hope, hope that I can maintain this mentality, this frame of mind.  I'll work to make it happen.

One last piece of exciting news for me.  My daughter and I are going to see both Adele and Sia - two days apart in Austin in November!  Yeah!!!  

Onward!


Sunday, July 31, 2016

An active week and a 5K

Well...here I am...

...finishing up an active week.

My daughter came home for vacation and while I'd planned to take the entire week off, I had to work Monday and Tuesday.  It's always so good to have her home.

Monday evening was my session with the trainer, Mr. Evil, at my house.  I thought about calling him to cancel since my daughter was home and I wanted to spend time with her.  I quickly realized, however, that it was an excuse - and not a valid one.  So I kept the appointment with him.  Score for me.

Recognizing those excuses for getting out of exercising or eating things that aren't good for me are keeping me on my toes lately.  So far, I'm keeping a handle on it and may even be a little ahead of the game.

Wednesday evening we went out to a local event - basically beer-drinking.  I abstained from all alcohol and drank Diet Coke and water all evening.  Good thing - hubster and my daughter were hammered!  Someone had to be the DD.  Another score for me.

On Thursday, we drove to the southwest corner of Yellowstone and walked along the Falls and Bechler rivers.   Hubster and my daughter wanted to walk the Bechler River Trail from Cave Falls to the ford.   I was looking for reasons not to do it - to let my husband and daughter go while I stayed in the truck.  However, in the end, that behavior is not going to get me where I want to be. So I went.  It was mostly flat with a few elevated areas and rocks/wood blocking the path.  The river (Falls and Bechler) were beautiful as were both Bechler and Cave Falls..  Another score for me.  Here's a few photos.


On Thursday, we again went to get ice cream.  My daughter had seen an article about the best ice cream in each state.  Of course, the best ice cream in Idaho would be right down the road from our house!  The first time we went, I got a kiddie cone.  The second time we went, I didn't get any because first I didn't really care for it - maybe I like shitty ice cream - and secondly, it's not anything special and I can make the decision to get it if I really want it.  So no ice cream the second time.  Score another for me!

Friday morning had me working with the trainer at his gym.  He totally kicked my ass, but it was a workout that made me feel really strong.  I'm starting to prefer doing some of the lower body machine work over free weights and squats - I feel stronger and more successful with the machines.  Yet another score for me.

Our daughter left Friday night, so we were sad to see her go.  However, I was starting to get a little nervous about Saturday because...

I had committed to a 5k. 

I went to bed early Friday night because I knew I needed to get up early - my friend was picking me up at 6:30 am.  I didn't sleep very well and when I woke up at 4:30, all I could think about was what excuse could I make to get out of it.  There were all kinds of excuses going through my mind - I was tired, it might make my back hurt, I was sore from the workout, it was going to be hot.  In the end, I was just being lazy for not wanting to do it - it's easier to not do it.

Again, that thinking isn't going to get me where I want to be, so I got my ass up and got ready.

And yannow what?  I did it.  Hell, I knew I could do it.  Granted we walked it, but we still did it - started it AND finished it! 


I don't know why the hell I did it, but I committed to either running the 5K or else walking the half marathon next year.  The thing about it is that my friend won't let me forget and will hold me to it.

It's been easy to make good food choices this week - I don't know why I'm in control, but I'll take it.

My back is doing better but still giving me twinges.  I was really worried for a while there, but I'm taking care of it!

Onward!

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Lack of Progress

Well...here I am...

...suffering from a lack of progress.

Self-induced, but frustrating nonetheless.

I'm still working with the trainer, though we've had scheduling conflicts over the last two weeks - on his part and mine.  We'll be back at it tomorrow.

One struggle I've had lately is back pain.  It's been a real bitch.  I can't really predict what's going to cause it.  It will be excruciating and I'm barely able to walk; later, it won't hurt at all.  I've had a couple of massages and am seeing a DO.  I think he's helping, but it still hurts every day.

On the food front, I continue to struggle.  I'm not doing anything to gain weight, but I'm not doing enough to lose weight.  My weight is wavering between the same 3 pounds for the last...forever it seems.

As far as losing weight goes, I feel like I no longer know how to do anything even though I've been successful in the past.  I don't know where that feeling comes from or even how it comes on.  One minute I'm fine and feeling like I've got this; the next minute, I'm feeling like a failure and just want to throw in the towel.

It doesn't help when you read about the success of long-term weight loss - it's miserly.

Even with this, I still feel more positive than not; I've just got to get my shit together and keep it together.

Since I don't have a magic pill, I will have to continue trying to make changes to some long-lived habits.  Maybe that's the magic pill - changed habits.  Those pills are hard to come by, but I've got to believe, that with hard work and some strong effort, I'll be able to have a permanent prescription.

Onward!