Sunday, October 16, 2016

10/17/2016 I am...

...always running to keep up lately!

Normally, when bloggers don't blog for a while, it means they're fallen off the wagon.  I'm happy to say that's not the case here.  I'm still going to WW for some accountability.  I'm down 13.4 lbs since the end of August.

I don't particularly agree with WW's emphasis on penalizing fats, but I absolutely agree with their emphasis on getting rid of added sugars.  So - I continue to eat the way I eat - meats, veggies, and minimal fruit.  My issue is volume and quantity and this program is helping me maintain awareness of that issue.

As a consequence, I'm learning - relearning actually - that it's the big picture that matters, but all the little decisions matter as well.  One screw-up today doesn't mean I need to throw in the towel.  The success of the big picture does indeed come from the little decisions.  I've got two recent examples.

I had a 2 day work retreat a few weeks ago and just flat out stopped thinking about what I was doing and made mindless choices.  There was enough variety food that I could have made good choices, but I didn't - I just gave up.  I wasn't able to attend a meeting that week so I didn't have that accountability and it just led to a second week of non-accountability.  When I finally weighed after two weeks, I had a nice GAIN.  It was big enough that it wasn't in the daily fluctuation.

That was an incredible example of not taking charge and letting shit happen.

Another example at the other end of the spectrum was Saturday a few weeks ago.  I attended a party at a co-worker's house.  The theme was Southern - so I baked a pecan pie for the party.  I've made so many pecan pies in my life that I rarely eat an entire slice - a bite to taste is sufficient for me.  However - all the other stuff at this party - well, I didn't hold back.  There were frog legs, fried chicken, fried catfish, macaroni and cheese, and all kinds of other stuff.  Then, later that afternoon and evening, we watched a college football game and TAMU won - WHOOP! -  and I ate and celebrated there as well.

Throughout that picnic, I didn't have a crap-ton of everything, but a rather conservative amount of everything I wanted.  The same thing with dinner that night.  My food was very conservative, but I had a bourbon drink and a shot of Irish whiskey.  This racked up points.

Now this wasn't a usual day, but I still made sure I accounted for it all and the points were staggering.  I used all the daily points as well as all the weekly points.  Okay - that sucked, but I wasn't going to beat myself up about it.  God knows I need to be done beating myself up about food, weight, and a whole slew of other things.  Anyway, instead of beating myself up - I was super diligent the rest of the week.  I made sure I ate good proteins and really loaded up on veggies.  It was a good thing and I ended up the week with a nice LOSS.

This is a great example of taking charge and making shit happen.

Out of all this, I'm trying to learn to just live healthy, get the weight off, and not obsess.  I'm learning is that I need to be mindful all the time.  I'm also learning that it's a fine line between being mindful and obsessing.

I'm still working out with the trainer.  We've switched one of the workouts to a yoga/pilates mix - I think that will suit me better and perhaps help with some of my back issues.  On the days that we do weights, we've switched to a bootcamp style of workout.  I do three sets and each set has four exercises and each set is done 3 times with 15 reps each of each exercise.  It kicks my ass, but I'm feeling stronger.  If someone had told me that I'd be doing 60 lbs on my triceps, I would have told them they were crazy.

Yesterday was a big anniversary for me.  It was 13 years ago that I had my left kidney removed due to kidney cancer.  It was the beginning of a rough road that lasted several years.  Paradoxically, it was also the beginning of the weight gain due to a second thyroid cancer diagnosis and severe depression.  While I don't like being overweight, this is infinitely preferable to the alternative.


Wednesday, September 7, 2016

9/7/2016 I am...

Things are moving along.

I joined WW with a friend of mine on 8/26 - the day before my 55th birthday.  My thinking is that I'm quite the volume eater, so perhaps I would still eat what I eat - basically LCHF - but that via WW, I would be able to get the volume of food under control.

The first week's weigh-in had me down 8.4 lbs.  Good for me.

I still get frustrated with it - the two meeting leaders I've experienced so far are not very inspirational and relayed some flat-out stupid and wrong information.  The comment was that water was good for you because it had oxygen - as in oxygen gas - as in it converted to breathable oxygen when you drank it.  As a chemist, this sends me over the moon and I just want to scream and run away with my arms flailing in the air.

My friend, of course, understands this.  She listened to me rant after the meeting and then said we had to sit through the meeting for accountability.  She has a point.  I told hubster I wanted to behave and get the weight off so I wouldn't have to listen to those insufferable women.  I'll take the motivation - in whatever form it presents itself.

Having said that, I must say that while I've never been a points - of any kind - fan, this new system does seem to be moving in the right direction by actually pushing you in to making good food choices and penalizing poor food choices.  It has indeed made me think about the food choices - something I never did on any of the old points programs.  It's also helping me keep check on the amount of food.  I still don't agree with the endless fruit though.

I've also been moving more.  My friend has joined me on the Friday morning strength training (right after the WW meeting) and it kicks my ass - but in a good way.  She and I have also been walking together more often to ensure we - me - gets the 10K steps.  She loves the walking; me - not so much.  However, I am doing it which is the thing that counts. 

I feel like I'm making progress because I'm making good choices more often.  I don't mind it so much when I have to walk a little more.  I've even *chosen* to walk a little more a few times.

I'm doing better with the move to more water.  I've always been a big drinker of anything - coffee, soda, tea, water.  My fluid intake has always been sufficient in volume - I just want to move it to more water and less other stuff.  I still have the coffee in morning, but I've made a concerted effort to have water the rest of the time - most of the time.

Long-term success is a constant concern, but at the moment I can't do anything about it - I can only worry about RIGHT NOW.  That is a tough lesson to learn.


Sunday, August 28, 2016

08/28/2016 I am...

I finally figured out how to deal with the stress of titling a post - I'll just use the date.  Such an easy solution that's taken forever to figure out...silly me.

There's lots of stuff going on lately.  A friend of mine's brother committed suicide on Thursday - I've been worried about her, but she seems to be dealing with it.  She will return from Texas at some point in the coming week.  We also found out today that one of my husband's uncles, and our family favorite, passed away earlier today.  He was 83 and had been dealing with cancer for the last while.  When we lived in Maryland, he would come spend some holidays with us because he lived in northern Virginia.

We've also had fires around here lately.  The Henry's Creek fire started last weekend and has burned almost 53000 acres.  It was visible from our deck - though miles away - earlier in the week.  It's been playing hell with the air quality.  Today was the first "clear" day we've had.  The only positive is that we've had some incredibly beautiful sunsets as a result of the crap in the air.

My 55th birthday was yesterday.  I've been struggling with it - not because I'm 55 (but holy shit - how in the world can I be 55??  I've got the maturity of a 14 year old!), but rather because I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be.  To deal with that, I've been having to do a lot of talking to myself.  While I'm not near a goal weight, I'm doing an awful lot of good things that are gonna help me get to where I want to be.

I've been working out regularly with the trainer - so that's a very good thing.  I've also been working on being more active when I'm not working out with some success.  Not perfect, but I am doing better.  One change up in the workout is that a friend of mine who also works out with the same trainer has joined me for the Friday session.

Can I just tell you that it kicked both our asses?  It's Sunday and I'm more sore today than I've been in a long time.  We're not competing at all, but I think the rest intervals are less because we don't want to keep the other one waiting.  She's quite sore as well, so at least I'm not alone.  Since the weather was pretty, she and I also walked 2.3 miles together today.  I thought the walking would help with some of the soreness from Friday's workout, but it did not.

The biggest thing I've done though is that I joined Weight Watchers this past Friday (8/26).  My friend also joined with me - I think for the first time ever, it will good to have a partner in crime for this.  I'll say at the outset that I'm not a fan of counting points and such and I don't plan to majorly change my way of eating because I believe it is the way to go for me.  The one change I've made is to add some fruit.

My problem is volume.  There's no doubt in my mind at all that my problem is that I'm a volume eater.  I don't seem to have a natural "off" switch when it comes to eating, so getting portion sizes under control can't be anything but a good thing.  Having said that, I will be adhering to the plan guidelines and counting and staying within the daily/weekly points as required of the plan.  I don't plan to use the activity points - though I've earned 43 since Friday according to the WW app (which is sync'd to my Fitbit).  I think that's a good thing.

On the volume eating thing, last Thursday is a good example.  Hubster and I went to Texas Roadhouse and we both ordered the 16 oz. ribeye.  I absolutely could have eaten my entire steak and the only reason I didn't is because hubster stopped at about half a steak.  Since I didn't want to look like a pig, I stopped.  It's good that I stopped, but there's something wonky about the reason I stopped.

One thing I've discovered lately is fruit and purple onions in salad.  OMG - it's fantastic and just about removes the need for any sort of salad dressing.

That's about it.  Lots of stuff going on, but it's all a part of life I suppose.


RIP Uncle Julius.  We will miss you.