Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Another new year

Well...here I am...

It's another new year...where does the time go?

There've been so many awesome things - and some not so awesome - that have happened in the last year that it's hard to know where to begin, so I don't know that I'll try to recap them all.  But I suppose that since I started this blog in an effort to maintain accountability in my weight loss efforts, perhaps I should start there.

It hasn't been good.  I'm not where I started, but I was...and then some, but I recovered.  And that's a good thing.  My doctor determined that I actually have a slow/low metabolism.  He prescribed a topiramate/phentermine combination.  After a six month stint - I lost a total of 13 lbs.   While I found menopause to be a wonderful thing in many ways, it was a total bitch in others.  Slowing weight loss being one of them.

But if I'm honest, there seems to be a lack of clarity I had at first.  While I can blame some of it on age, I don't think that's all of it.   Part of it is the lack of focus on me.

Since originally starting this blog, my life has changed quite a bit - almost a 180.  Some things are the same, but others are vastly different.

I live on the other side of the country, I have a totally different job, hubster and I are empty nesters, we've lost three of our four dogs due to old age, there's more demands on my time, I have less free time, there's more stress, and I seem to be getting sick regularly.

In 2017, I had shingles twice, cellulitis once, and weird viruses/colds/flu that laid me out for 3 weeks - twice.

In short, I need to take better care of myself - more rest, less stress, more delegation, more saying 'no', more focus on 'me'.  I think if I can focus on me more, I can do better, feel better, and perhaps lose a little bit more weight.  Let's see if that works.


Tuesday, April 4, 2017


Well...here I am...

...I haven't felt good the last couple of days.  Actually stayed home yesterday - I have postherpetic neuralgia as a result of the shingles.  Not the greatest.  Work, however, never stops.  Was on phone and email all day yesterday and today was nonstop from 7-6!

Hubster's travelling and the contractor started destruction of the deck in preparation for a new one.

I've stayed on track - I've done quite well actually.  I think the sugar is out of my system and so cravings are way down.

I'm gonna have to watch the nuts at work.  Nuts are okay in my book - the eating kind and the people kind - however, I just flat out like eat, so it could be a bad combination if I'm not careful.

Having said that - the scale was up three days in a row - 3.4 lbs over the course of the three days; however, it was down today.

That sort of thing is frustrating, but I know I've been eating fine, so it was just nature's way of playing with me I'm sure.  The tough part is knowing that you're doing the right thing and it doesn't automatically translate into a measureable result in the time *I* feel is reasonable.

Patience.  This isn't for the short term, but for the rest of my life.  I can't give up before I've even started.  Besides, *I* know this works - it did before, it will again.

Some trains of thought believe you shouldn't weigh every day, but I need to.  I need the accountability and I need to understand this is a relatively slow process.

One thing that happened today that has me in a bit of an upheaval is that I've been asked to speak at a national conference at the end of July.  Can I just say it makes me a little...a lot...nervous?  I talk in groups and in front of people all the time, but I generally know a lot of the audience.  Not in this case.

On the good side, that gives me almost 4 months to make some good, solid progress with this albatross around my neck.


Friday, March 31, 2017

3/31/17 - In the game

Well...here I am...

hopeful that I've made it back to the space in my head I need to be.

Like many others, I've done good and I've done bad relative to weight loss.

When your head's in the game, your resolve is almost invincible - nothing will get in your way to your goal.  But then, something happens, imperceptibly it seems, and your head's not in the game any more. 

That's what happened with me.  I did so well for so long and then, little slips here, little slips there, LIFE...and all of a sudden, I look around and I wasn't in the game any more and I couldn't even get back to bat.

It's taken me a long time to get my shit together - stops and starts, lots of tears and frustration.  But I never gave up.  I worked every day to get it together, longed for my head to be in the game and wondered why I couldn't get my ducks in a row.

Lots of things contributed to it - work, stress, all the usual life things that happen to everyone.  The biggest thing though was that something else...everything else...became more important than me.  I stopped putting myself first.  I quit taking the time to take care of me.

I've always considered myself to be low maintenance and that may be so, but I've got to maintain a higher level of maintenance for myself than before. 

Lots of things have changed for me - good and bad.  A promotion to an even more stressful job; a heart issue - nothing too traumatic or life-threatening - premature ventricular contractions; neck and spinal issues; recurrent shingles, and weight gain.

Each of them alone are manageable, but it's a pain dealing with all of them at the same time.  Getting this weight off will help a lot and will probably help alleviate many of the other problems!

Again, I've finally gotten rid of all added sugars.  High fat (70%), moderate protein (25%), and low carb (5%).  That means lots of good fat, fish, chicken, some red meat, and vegetables.  I'm tracking my food on fatsecret after I eat.  Trying to change the habits and adjust in a meaningful way.  I'm also trying to get more sleep.

I'm not looking to prove anything, I'm just looking to be healthy.  It's not a contest, it's my life.  And it is indeed up to me.