Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Tired

Well...here I am...

Tired!

It's been a long day and my back hurts!

Woke up this morning and just didn't feel like going to work, but I dragged myself outta bed anyway.  Turned out to be a pretty busy day so I was glad I went.  Lots of productive efforts and future plans in place, so that's always a good thing.

When I stepped on the scale this morning, it was up a little; but now I know why!  Can I just say that I hate, detest, despise cramps.  If I ever see another stupid commercial of a woman in a white bikini swimming during her period - well, I may just have to shoot my television!

Had my smoothie for breakfast this morning with the chia seeds and coconut oil - it wasn't a mistake, it really is a good addition.  A friend of mine suggested that I may was to add an egg; that's a good idea, but might make it a little too creamy for me.

At lunch, a fellow that works under me wanted to have lunch to go over a few things; so he came to my office.  I had a salad with chicken, goat cheese, chia seeds, and Newman's Own Caesar Dressing with a lot of pepper and 1/2 of an avocado.

Then the afternoon was spent on an issue and meetings - meetings are not my favorite things, but I was voluntold, so there ya go.  Perhaps I'll be able to contribute something constructive at some point.

I had dinner with  a friend of mine tonight - I spoke of her last night.  It was fun getting together and just relaxing and talking.  She's interested in what I'm doing with all this, so she's going to forge her way ahead as well.  Good luck HG!

At dinner we discussed all things weight-related.  And we're similar to each other in this way - how the hell did we get here?  At what point did we stop making decisions to take care of ourselves?

Anyway, after dinner she asked to look at the dessert menu and while I had no opinion, I wondered what she was going to do and if she would ask if I was going to order dessert.  It would have been a temptation, but I don't know how big.  She ended up not ordering anything, but just wanted to look at the menu to see if there was anything good.  I do that a lot as well and I thought about that on the way home.

Oftentimes in the past when I've looked at a dessert menu and then not ordered, it was due to no one else at my table wanting anything and I certainly didn't want to look like a pig.  However, I've also ordered dessert many times even though I was full up to my eyeballs with food that I couldn't see straight.  What made me do it?  Well, it tasted good and we all want things that taste good.  But for me, when I do crazy shit like that, it's almost like I have this crazy emotion that if I don't eat it now, I'll be missing the opportunity of eating something that tastes good.  So then I eat it and THEN I'm so full I'm uncomfortable, my stomach hurts, and I've hurt my own self by eating something due to some sort of irrational emotional need to EAT...even though I'm not hungry.

Tonight at dinner, I stopped when I knew I was full. I think I may have eaten one wing too many, but I didn't eat all the wings I ordered so that was a good thing.

My thoughts seem a little jumbled to me tonight - I dunno why.  Perhaps it's because I'm tired and cranky.

One thing I have noticed on the scale is that, without fail, the morning weight after eating out the night before always shows an increase - not always a big increase, but an increase nonetheless.

Onward...

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