Well...here I am...
On Saturday morning and I have a bit of a headache..
Dealing with this water weight from my period is really frustrating. The scale is wobbling up and down. I hope it settles down soon.
Funny thing how your mind works. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I thought it was down a little, when in fact it was up a little. Not a big deal really, but I was a little surprised that I was wrong. Just a thought.
Yesterday was a really long day - dealing with folks at work, not that they're mean or anything, is sometimes tiring. Plus, I'm in a new position and I want to do a great job for the folks that report to me because they all work so hard - for the folks I report to as well. Being the newbie is a delicate balance.
I've got such a set pattern for my morning breakfast - a smoothie. I mean, it's got the things I need, it tastes good, and it keeps me happy until lunchtime. So - that's what I had for breakfast yesterday. Lunch was with hubby at a Mexican place.
Thinking back on this, I'm reminded that this is where things can go awry.
Anyway - lunch was late and both hubby and I were starving. When the fellow brought the chips, I didn't think anything of it. I had no intention of eating them. Well, I got a hunger pain - a real hunger pain - and so I ate a single chip loaded with salsa - it's made in-house and fresh - not the canned stuff...and it was so refreshing. But that's all I had. When I ordered lunch, I asked about sugar and msg; the server said neither of those things were added, so I got a mixed fajita plate with steak, chicken, and vegetables, black beans, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce, and tomato. Hold the tortillas and hold the rice. It sounds like a huge amount of food - but it wasn't so much. There was about 6 oz of steak/chicken total. The vegetables were broccoli, carrots, and onions.
As with the rest of the day, we also worked late and didn't leave work until almost 7 - who works that late on a FRIDAY?!?!?! Old people! lol
So...we decided to go to Carrabba's for dinner. We ordered a bottle of wine and I had 2 glasses over the entire meal and water. I ordered the pork chops with spinach and a side caesar (hold the croutons). We also had the tomatoes caprese as an appetizer. Well, while waiting on our food, the server brought the dreaded bread basket. I took the heel since it was the smallest piece and divided it into 3 pieces and dredged it in the oil and spice. It was good.
The interesting thing is that after I ate it, I must have gotten a little antsy or something. I did have a little argument going on inside as to whether I should have 'just one more piece'. My husband must have picked up on it or something because, without a word, he took the bread basket and moved it to his corner of the table where it was out of my reach. I appreciated it a bunch.
Now - does a single chip with salsa at lunch and a small slice of bread in oil at dinner really bad? Nope - not at all. However, for me it can be the beginning of a slippery slope and one I don't want to be on at all. I probably should consider the wine the same way, but for some reason I don't. I guess it's because I don't have any sort of emotions tied up with wine.
Another thing too is that I decided to myself before we got to the restaurant that I was going to have some wine - I didn't decide that I was going to have even a single chip at lunch or bread at dinner. I think that's where the separation is. I made a decision to have the wine. The chip and the bread were more of a reaction.
On the way home, I asked my husband how he thought I did at dinner and whether he thought the wine was okay. His response was that I had done fine and besides it was my splurge meal, so I was okay. That comment brought me up a little short. First of all, I hadn't considered dinner to be a splurge at the time, but when my husband said that I knew he was right.
He and I had a conversation a while back where we talked about eating and food and I said that I would have a meal I wanted once a week - a splurge if you will. At the time, he asked me several questions about it, such as whether it was a splurge meal or a splurge day. I told him it was a meal and also also told him that the splurge didn't mean that I was going hog wild and eat a loaf of bread or a container of ice cream; rather, I would be something that I enjoyed and that I had decided on ahead of time.
Given what we had discussed, hubby considered that meal to be a splurge, whereas for me, it hadn't even entered my mind. There's something telling there and I can see it, but I just can't describe it. Hubby has no ties to food and is pretty objective in general, so it seems that his assessment is probably right.
Mind set and control - I've got to get hold of both of these things, wrap my mind around it, wallow in it, let it soak in. I think I'm learning. Baby steps.
When I woke up this morning, I had a bit of a headache. I still do. I don't know if it's from the wine, the added sugar yesterday, or TOM stuff. All I know is that I'd rather not have a headache.