...having a great day!
My head seems to be in the game today. I feel upbeat, motivated, positive, with my eye on the long term goal. Today, I can *see* myself 2 years from now...and I like what I see.
We had a snowstorm come through today, so everything in metro DC was closed, so we got to stay home from work. I slept a little late, drank some coffee, did some laundry, played with the critters - just a chill day with good things in my head.
When I sat down to the computer to do some blog reading, Crabby McSlacker suggested that we post something positive about ourselves. That's difficult for most folks to do and I'm no exception. I commented that I'm trying to match up the internal version of me with the external version. Inside, I'm a mess of insecurities; but on the outside, I look like I'm quite in control and in charge!
Anyway, in reading the blog and all the posts I started thinking of the Roger Miller song, "You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd" - I don't know what triggered the thought. It's such a wonderful song and reminds me of my childhood. A lot of Miller's songs are nonsensical, but they always put me in a good mood. Anyway, part of the lyrics say:
"You can be happy if you've a mind to. All ya gotta do is put yer mind to it. Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it."Anyway, my mind is "to it". And I can "do it". I WILL do it! That whole thought process made me feel so strong, so motivated, so GOOD! Just dig my heels in and stick with it.
I CAN DO THIS!
So I was in a great mood after going through Crabby's blog. I moved on to another blog and I swear, it was amazing.
But let me digress for a moment.
I've never liked to have pictures taken. I didn't want any one to see how fat I was. Of course, that statement is the essence of ridiculousness, but that's another blog. My daughter has harped on me to be in pictures. She says that when she looks back, she wants to be able to remember me in the photos as well. Anyway, a few months ago, she was going on a trip and wanted us to take a picture together. Initially I told her no, but she fussed at me until I relented. In the picture, my daughter and I are smiling and she has her arm around me. When I saw the picture, I saw how beautiful my daughter was; how bright her smile was; how she looks so full of promise and enthusiasm. When I looked at me in the picture, all I saw was how fat and ugly I was - I was disgusted.
THAT moment was the beginning of the change in myself.
So, let's back up for a second. I mentioned earlier that I read a second blog today. Well that blog was at Lynn's Weigh. When I first started looking at successful weight loss and fitness blogs, I came upon hers. In particular, she had written about the "One Thing" that made her begin her final journey to getting fit and losing the excess weight. Her "one thing" was also a picture of her and her daughter. It was a great blog and I remembered it.
Anyway, when I saw that picture of my daughter and me, everything kinda crashed on me at once and I vividly remembered the blog Lynn had written. At that time, I wasn't positive who had written it or even where I had read it, but I remembered the photo I'd seen and looked high and low for it, but I could never find it.
So today, when I went to read Lynn's blog, I was SO excited to see that in the context of the current blog post, she posted the very picture that I remember and even gave a link to the post that was so vivid in my mind. I'll probably never meet this woman, but she's part of my "one thing".
Having that reminder, that emotional jog of what made me start this journey was positively powerful and just further cemented my resolve. Combining that resolve with the positive motivation is just a fantastic feeling. I hope to maintain this outlook for a long, long while
By the way, that picture of my daughter and me? She gave me a framed version for Christmas. The frame says, "Nobody loves me like my mom".
I *can*, I *will* do this!