Wednesday, April 16, 2014

My reflection

Well...here I am...

...thinking about my reflection.

So, there were a few good things that happened today.

First, the scale was down this morning, so I was happy to see that.  Perhaps it won't be long and I'll be in the 250's.  It's so weird to be looking forward to being in that decade.  I mean, what I'm doing is actually working!!!  Sometimes it's just amazing to me that it is.  Who knew I had it in me???

Second, my shirts and blouses are seriously getting too big!  When I walked downstairs this morning, I asked hubster about it.  He looked at the blouse I was wearing and said, "Yup - it's too big.  Time for new clothes."  Plus, my bras don't bite at all anymore.  Yeah me.

Third, I had a meeting six buildings over.  It was chilly this morning, so I wasn't so keen on walking over there outside.  But, I knew there was an underground tunnel that would get me there.  I asked a colleague and he told me how to get there via the tunnel.  He ended his directions with, "I'd just drive over if I were you."  Now, it doesn't take me much to pass up on exercise of any kind.  I was proud of myself that I walked over there...and I actually enjoyed it a bit.  Got to see a few new things that I hadn't seen before.  Old 1960's government buildings are interesting.

After the meeting, I was meeting a friend for lunch and she was going to pick me up from the meeting so that we'd save the time of me walking back to my building.  Since the meeting ended a little after noon, it had warmed up a little so I waited outside to get a bit of fresh air.  I walked up and down the sidewalk, looked at the trees, said hello to folks that passed by, etc.  On one of the pass-bys, I looked at the building and caught the reflection of someone I didn't know.

IT WAS ME!!!  Once I realized it was me, I just stared at my reflection.  I turned this way and that way, just as if the window reflection was a mirror.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still a big girl, but my overall profile is smaller.  Both my stomach and my ass are noticeably flatter.  After admiring myself for a bit, I felt proud of myself and more resolved to keep going.

Now about the food issue/trigger/whatever the hell it is.

At lunch, my friend and I went to a local Persian restaurant that serves fresh food.  She ordered a chicken kabob and salad, while I ordered a chicken kabob and sauteed spinach.  My friend received her order first, so she waited on me.  When they called my number, they had made tenderloin instead.  They realized the mistake and corrected the order.

When I received the corrected order, I saw that the amount of chicken I had was less than my friend.  I immediately felt irritated.  Now it had nothing to do with the money at all.  It had everything to do with the fact that I would not have as much to eat as my friend.  What the fuck is that all about?  I mean, there was enough chicken for lunch - I wouldn't go away hungry at all.  What is this deal of having to have my share???

This friend is a sweet, tall, beautiful, thin, red-head, and knows that I'm trying to lose weight.  I mentioned the discrepancy in the amount of chicken to her.  She looked at both plates and just kinda blew it off, "Ehh whatever".  I wish *I* had that reaction.

More to consider and think about.   I certainly don't know what the deal is, but I am more aware and more alert to these food "things".  But I'll get there.

Onward!


4 comments:

  1. I dunno your family background, but did you have siblings? Did they take your things, often? Did you feel less loved or appreciated by one or both parents? Was a sibling what seemed to be a favorite child over you? Just a few possibilities that occur to me.

    Congrats on everything else, though! Awesome!

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    1. Gwen - One younger sibling - we're pretty close, but I'm seven years older. Maybe it's the oldest child thing.

      I was pretty stoked about it all too!

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  2. I just wanted to say Congrats on your new "look!" And your clothes being to big! Isn't that the best feeling in the world?? I just love it. Now, I do wish I had your "happiness" on your new look. I have lost to date 54 lbs and I can not see it. Everyone around me see's it , but not me. It saddens me that I put in all this work... 241 days and I still don't think I've done enough or look different. So, kudo's to you that you can see and enjoy! Whats that saying... KOKO! WTG!
    Rosie :)

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    1. Oh Rosie!!! 54 lbs is AWESOME!!!! I hope you're able to "see" your accomplishment soon. I mean seriously, 54 lbs is a big deal!

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