...my daughter has gone back to Texas. It was soul-soothing to have her back home if only for a few days. After my travel next week, our son will be home for more soul-soothing. We're really looking forward to it.
Like I said yesterday, we had a great time just being together. The weather was great, so we spent most of our time on either the patio or the porch just hanging out.
While she was here, we took a lot of pictures and some of them are hilarious. I decided that I would post one here as a progress photo. It's similar to the photo that started it all. Do those tatas look huge or what? ;-)
But there was something odd and I couldn't figure out what it was.
At the airport this morning, she mentioned that I drank diet soda this weekend. She thought that she had caused me to go off my plan because she was under the impression that I had stopped drinking diet soda. She said that, in the past, I had gone/quit whatever diet I was on when she was home and wanted to eat something that wasn't on said diet. Hubster spoke up and said that I hadn't given it up, but that I didn't drink it often at all. But that's been going on for about 3 years now - tea and water are my preferred beverages.
As hubster and I walked back to the car after hugging her goodbye, I was thinking about the weekend and it dawned on me what the "odd" thing was - my daughter sees "this" as a diet, something temporary. And finally, for the first time in my life, I truly understand that "this" is not a diet at all.
These last five months have been huge for me. I'm so happy for the support I have, but I think the thing my daughter didn't realize was that what I'm doing isn't a matter of eating/not eating, but rather a way of eating for the rest of my life. It isn't a matter of denying myself anything, but rather making the choices that are best for me. It really is a matter of learning to eat to live and not live to eat. When I am strong, focused, and have the proper mindset about food/eating, I can make the right choices with ease. There's no one - NO ONE - that can make me make bad decisions. It's ME making that decision. I can be proud of that.
When I'm weak, my focused is blurred, and I've got food on the brain, the decisions I make are still mine and mine alone. It's still ME making that decision. I have to learn from those situations.
I'm not perfect, but I'm learning and getting the strength and the power within myself to make the permanent changes I have to make. I don't have a choice.
I don't think there are too many people who really understand that. But that's totally okay, cuz I'm the one in charge.