Well...here I am...
...thinking about the woman at Costco.
Hubster and I made our weekly Costco run today along with a short
trip to Southern States so we could look at chickens and coops. Yes -
I've almost got him convinced. I've even got the place for the coop. Excitement abounds!
I'm a greeter. I say hello to most everyone and that includes the folks at
Costco. Today, I started talking with the demo person (she was demoing the pesto
sauce with cheese tortellini). I took one of the little cups and
commented on how good it looked. The demo lady agreed that it looked
good and then said she couldn't have any. I asked why and she said it
was because she had lost 97 pounds since FEBRUARY! She immediately had
my attention. She said she was doing Atkins and staying in the
induction phase of the plan.
Well - let me tell you.
I was happy and excited for her. I was also jealous as hell. I was
jealous as hell while I popped that stupid tortellini in my mouth. I
mean I've only lost 31 pounds since January and she's lost 97 since
February?!?!?! That's 30 lbs a month! Truth be told, that seems almost
unbelievable to me. But, she and I are two different people. Perhaps
she has a better metabolism, perhaps she doesn't have thyroid issues,
etc. BUT, perhaps she's very focused; perhaps she doesn't deviate even
an iota from her plan; perhaps she stays on the low end of food intake;
perhaps she's exercising, etc.
Of course, it's in my
personality to minimize my own success in the face of her seemingly
bigger, better, greater success. After I talked with her, I did indeed
feel a bit deflated. I had a "why can't I lose weight fast like that?" sort of
thought process going on, but then I started taking stock and tried to NOT compare myself to her or anyone else, but rather to make sure I'm doing the best for me.
My weight seems to be in a bit of a lull - part of that is life, part of it's me, and part of it's biology.
I've been quite busy the last week or so. As a result, I've allowed my mind to drift from this issue of my weight loss and health. I've not gone BSC or anything, but I feel that I've not been as prepared as I need to be. I don't think I have that "hyper"awareness I had when I first started. This is not a good thing.
I also seem to have a difficult time learning some lessons, but I am getting better. I've allowed myself to have a few "little things" that aren't conducive to me achieving my goals. There's nothing particularly bad, sampling the food at Costco, for example. BUT, those "little things" can become "regular things" and my ass has the possibility of being silo-size again. I've got it down to barn-size and if I want to get it to shed-size, I can't let the focus slip. So, I've got to refocus and keep up the awareness.
The third thing is biology. Menopause...PLEASE hurry up!!! Before I started all this, my weight would increase anywhere from 6-10 pounds when I had a period and I looked like a tick about to explode. The water weight seems to be about 3 lbs now and my ankles, as well as the rest of me, doesn't look quite as puffy. I'll say one thing though - my sodium is off the chart the last few days. I usually average about 1900-2000 mg per day. Three of the last four days my sodium has been more than 3300 mg per day.
Having said that, I realized some successes this week - some non-scale victories if you will.
First, the 18's I ordered arrived. And I can zip them up!! I think I'm about five pounds away from wearing them in public. Yeah me!
Second, and this seems a little strange to me. During one of my last WW go-rounds, I got my weight down to 251 and the clothes I had were a little baggy. Those VERY SAME clothes are TOO BIG at my current weight of 258-259. I don't quite get it, but I tend to think I'm losing belly fat due to the lack of sugar.
The third thing is quite simple. I'm still here! I'm so far from perfect it's not even funny. I fall often, but damn it, I keep getting back up! I mean seriously, I can't get 30 pounds into this and quit. Hell - I'm 1/3 of the way there!!
I'm struggling - but I'm not counting me out!
I read an article in the New York Times today that talked about calories, fat, sugar, and the basic American diet. It's an interesting article.