Thursday, July 31, 2014

What I've learned

Well...here I am...

...the race is on - to reach 249.8!

The line above is what I originally called the post - The race is on.  However, I think we all know how I wander all over the place.  I ended up with something totally different than what I was planning.

I was more than a little surprised this morning when the scale said 252.2.  I must have weighed five times.

This is a rare event for me.  The scale usually shows an increase the day after eating out...especially so after eating out TWICE the previous day!

But who am I to complain about losing weight?!?!  Take it and move on!

This means that I'm getting close to being below the next zero of 250.  For me, this is a huge milestone in a lot of weighs (get it???)

I started the beginning of the year at 290 lbs with the idea that I was going to lose this weight on my own and learn a new way of life.  I had no specific plan except that I wasn't going to be beholden to any specific plan - this was gonna be the DIP.  I'm a smart woman - I was gonna figure this shit out on my own, make up my own rules, and DO IT!

Can I say that I'm proud of myself?  That I'm amazed at myself?  There's no doubt I've still got a long row to hoe, but by God, I'm hoeing!  Hell - I'm 1/3 of the way there!  I didn't have any confidence at all on 1/4/2014 that I would be able to lose even 5 lbs on my own.

I'm pretty proud too that I was able to take the BIG vacation with hubster, let loose a little bit, and basically maintain.  That was a big lesson and gave me a lot of reinforcement that I'm on the right path, I'm doing the right thing, and that I'm making the permanent changes that will sustain me for the rest of my life.

I was a little worried that it would be extremely difficult to get back on track after vacation.  With the exception of a little hiccup that I talked about last week, I'm on the train without a whole lot of issues.

The biggest thing is that the food chatter has decreased immensely.  Before, when there was some food I saw or wanted - it didn't matter what type of food it was, I would justify not just eating it, but overeating it by rationalizing that I didn't know when I would be able to eat it again.  Isn't that pretty stupid?  Not rational at all.

I've discovered along the way that sugar is not my friend.  When I eat sugar, I really do feel like shit afterwards.  And while I did indulge on vacation, it really was tempered.  The indulgences had to be worth it.

That's another thing I learned, the indulgences are rarely worth it and I've become much more selective.  This can be attributed to the decrease in the food chatter and the fact I'm generally better able to think more clearly, more reasonably, and more rationally about food.  There is always gonna be tempting food around - I don't have to give in to all of them.

Another big lesson I've learned is that a challenge doesn't have to translate to failure.  Yesterday was indeed a food challenge, but I tried hard to plan ahead and figure out how to make the day a success instead of a failure.  That's something I rarely did before.  Before, the mindset for a such a day was that there was no way to figure it out or to make it a success, so I might as well throw in the towel and start again the next day - I mean - why try to make it work or salvage it - clearly it's too difficult.  That thought, THAT VERY THOUGHT, would lead to a fcuking free-for-all foodwise.  This would mean that I would start the next day even further behind.  It was only too difficult because I let it be too difficult.

The funny thing about this whole challenge thing is that I never back down from a challenge in other areas of my life.  I think most folks who know me would say that I thrive on challenges.  Tell me it can't be done, and I'll prove your ass wrong!

It's been an incredible learning process and I'm learning something new about myself all the time.  I've got a long way to go, but I've got a few tools under my belt now that will help me.

I think my chances of long-term success are much greater than they were in January.  That quote by Peter Attia on the right side of the blog is totally true and it rings truer for me every day.  If you remember nothing else, remember this: the game is won – or lost – not by the infrequent big changes, but by the frequent, deliberate, and repeatable small ones. This is where grit comes in.

I'm counting on it!


Onward!

20 comments:

  1. Changing habits and mentality towards food takes time. You've done great so far by trying to plan ahead and by sticking to your new lifestyle! Keep it up :)

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    1. Thank you - I plan to keep on moving forward!

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  2. Of course, you should be proud of yourself! You have made a lot of progress and made a lot of changes and those are things to be proud of.

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    1. Isn't it weird how it's sometimes difficult for us women to voice those positive things about ourselves? Thank you Kitty!

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  3. Huge congrats on all of your weight loss. As others have said, you've done so well and you must be proud of yourself. I wish I could do it and my own (I'm still trying), but I know I need a program. I just overeat unless a program ie. calorie counting/points tells me I can't anymore.

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    1. Sonya - I truly believe that each one of us has to find out what works for us. The hardest part is finding what's gonna work for the rest of our lives.

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    1. Thanks MaryFran - you're awesome! I hope the headache is better today.

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  5. I love your writing - and you are doing a great job with your hoeing!!! ;)

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    1. Well thank you Shelley. I'm actually a bit insecure about my writing, so the compliment means a lot!

      I'ma keep on hoeing as long as I can!

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  6. you should be so very proud of yourself !!

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    1. Thank you Nancy! I'm glad you're here!

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  7. Woot! That success you are feeling fuels your motivation to continue on towards goal!

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    1. Divad! Thank you! You always have such great comments.

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  8. Doing such great work and making great progress! Nicely done!

    If you can get over the vacation hurdle... you so got this!
    Rosie :)

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    1. Rosie - thank you! I think the vacation hurdle is gone!

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