Well...here I am...
...I had a calm day and I'm really happy about it!
Today felt good. My head was in a good place and I was able to concentrate on my goals and how I'm going to attain them rather than on how to manipulate the food situation so that everything will be okay.
And I know good and well that manipulating the food situation ain't gonna work - no way, no how. It's not letting the big things slip that trip me up, it's the little things that get me every time. I can plan to go have a big celebratory dinner and it won't derail me because it's so big relative to my day to day that it stands out as being different and not the norm.
Those little things though - they get me. I think it's mostly because they are little, and for the most part, inconsequential so they aren't noticed. But they add up to a big deal. You know what I'm talking about - a bite of this, a taste of that. Each one in itself isn't such a big deal; but when they're done often and continuously - well, that presents a big problem and leads me right down the wrong road.
It's gonna be these little things that make me or break me. Like Attia said, this is where the grit comes in.
I've been thinking about the upcoming month and what I can do to remove, avoid, or escape the little things. What do I need to do to make sure that when February rolls around, I'm in a better place? How do I keep ME and my personal life change efforts front and center while doing all the bazillion other things I have to do?
I think the biggest, and hardest, thing to do is to just be selfish with myself. I AM WORTH IT!
A new first step for that came tonight. With my efforts slipping in the recent past, hubster's support has loosened as well. I'm not dogging him at all - it was just a natural next step. Anyway, yesterday we cooked a ham that had been in the freezer (we're trying to use up all the frozen stuff). There were plenty of leftovers, so tonight was omelets. I told hubster that I would make my own. Funny, but it was a signal to him and to me that the bitch is back!
It felt good and made me feel strong and powerful. It made me feel that I've got this and that my head is indeed back in the game. I can't rehash what's happened - just learn from it and move on! While I don't have that down just yet, I'm working on it.
Progress - in whatever form it takes, not perfection.
I'm gonna work to make sure tomorrow is a good day too.