Sunday, March 8, 2015

Hello...I'm new here

Well...here I am...

...and just want to say..."Hello - I'm new here."

At least that's what it feels like.  It seems that I'm running about 50 degrees from what I used to and I can't seem to get it straight, but I'm trying.

The scale tipped 270 at the end of the day the other day and that pretty much scared the shit out of me.  This is the wrong direction...clearly.

While I'm loving living here and am enjoying the job - it's a total 180 from what I've been used to the in the past.  Our schedules are totally different and in an upheaval relative to what they were before.  We're getting up earlier, getting home later, working longer hours, not working together, and getting used to a whole new way of doing damn near everything it seems.  Getting sick so soon after getting here knocked me off base as well.

With all the changes we made, everything pretty much fell apart eating-wise - and I let it.  Reincorporating the good habits in a new schedule has been challenging because I've taken the easy way out, but I feel I'm making some strides in getting back on track.

My schedule is officially 4 10-hour days, but they're more like 4 12-hour days.  Along with an hour commute - which is beautiful, we're dog-tired by the time we're both home.  Who the hell wants to cook then?!?!?  To try and take care of that, hubster and I bought a bunch of pre-cooked meats that aren't loaded with sodium and additional ingredients.  Add a veggie and we're doing okay. 

At least once each week, we have some work-related thing we have to do.  It's fine, but I've been drinking at these events - not over-the-top or anything - but two drinks can indeed wreck havoc.  Given that I don't really give a shit about drinking, it's not a hard thing to not do.  But let me be clear, it's not been at just the work-related events.  If hubster and I go out to eat, I've been drinking alcohol at least 30% of the time.  That stopped as of last night.

Breakfast has been an omelet at work - freshly made, but it's too much.  I've gotten friendly with the chef and he makes mine bigger...a lot bigger...as an act of kindness.  Either that or he figures the fat lady needs more to eat.  *smacks self*  I've got some smoked salmon and cream cheese now, so I'm gonna see how that works out.  I may try for my old stand-by smoothie, but time is precious in the morning and I'm still bitching my way out of bed.

Lunch has been a salad from the cafeteria that I make myself.  It's usually lettuce, radish, asparagus, pickled beets (but not sweet), broccoli, eggs, cheese, and blue cheese dressing.  It's good, but probably too big - do I need to worry about that though?  I don't know.  The bad thing I've been adding on the salad is croutons - not one or two, but a bunch.

Those are the obvious things.  The less obvious - and the more harmful - are the bowls of candy everywhere.  The day I arrived, we started a major reorg.  That meant a ton of stressful meetings - and the admin folks brought out the bowls of candy - and not the inexpensive, cheap stuff either, but rather the stuff that I didn't say 'no' to.  What is it - candy and stress-soothing?  Shit.

I've also not kept up with posting because by the time I get a bit of time, I want to do other stuff.  In thinking about it - this really is the most important thing.  While I don't know, I wonder if, subconsciously, I wasn't writing because I didn't want to deal with the shit I was doing to myself.

We've also been eating out on the weekend.  I showed hubster my weight graph today and he said it was all the eating out and the desserts.  I immediately became defensive and told him that we rarely had dessert.  He calmly pointed out that we were out for a work function on Thursday, then went out to dinner on both Friday and Saturday - and had dessert at all of them!

Why...when...how...the hell did I miss this?!?!?!?!  He was absolutely right!  Honestly, it's like it just slipped right by me!  How did I allow this to happen?

So tonight was dinner at home...baked boneless center loin pork chops and sauteed spinach with pecans.  I also had the rest of the Cobb salad from last night's dinner.  Yeah - the dinner where we had dessert!

Hopefully, I've got my stupidity under control...or at least am on the right road.  My awareness went to shit, but hopefully I've got that on the right track as well.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.  Feel feel to smack the shit out of me.

Onward!

6 comments:

  1. Fingers are crossed. You've got to stop the viscous cycle now because it gets out of control so quickly. In your heart of hearts, you know how you need to change your eating habits and the work that needs to happen there for YOU. I am rooting for you and have missed you greatly. You are settling in, the shock of moving starting to become reality, now you can get back to working on eating in good health. Nice to have brekkie and lunch taken care of at work.

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  2. Get the omelet, and reserve half of it to warm and add on top of your salad at lunch. Half the size on the salad, AND NO CROUTONS. No booze or dessert until you drop 10 lbs., missy. Right this ship now! You did this before, you can do it now. Spend an hour or two on the weekend batch cooking for dinner for the coming week. :)

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  3. I'm glad you are back. Moving is stressful, so is getting a new job. You've lived through the hardest part. Now, you see where you need to make some adjustments. Don't waste any more time lamenting the past. Start now and make positive changes. You can do it one small step at a time.
    Lori

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  4. Oh good, the 'tough love' part's been taken care of, and I think it's an interesting lesson (one I have to learn over and over) that stress and effort in one area of life tends to derail other areas that require willpower. So don't beat yourself up, it's pretty understandable. You sound really ready to move forward in a healthy way, and I bet a few minor modifications and your newfound awareness of all the extra treats will go a long way in getting back on track.

    Good for you for catching it and righting your course!

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  5. Big Hug to you Lucky Mama- Good for you for getting back here and posting.

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