Well...here I am...
...thinking about the weakened resolve of the last few months.
It's interesting when you write. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard. One thing I hate about writing here is that I have to have a post title. I've spent the last five minutes trying to come up with a title that's suitable for what I want to write. I don't know if the title I've written is suitable, but it'll have to do.
And right now, I don't have clarity. I don't know what to say or what to write - I just know that I need to write something - try to figure out the mush in my brain. Things are just all jumbled in my head. It's an interesting feeling. I mean - I had clarity earlier in the week - I could see the path forward, but at this moment, I don't have any clarity or confidence. I just *am*.
The weekend was okay. Food wasn't perfect, but it's on a forward track. Hubster and I found ourselves at a fast food place yesterday. We had tons of chores and places to go yesterday and what do we do? We slept late! Once we got on the road, we realized we were really hungry.
I felt like I was going in the wrong direction, but it was the situation I was in. I tried to change the feeling and decide what on the menu was reasonable - and yes, it was the word "reasonable" I used. I ended up with a hot dog and shared fries with hubster.
One thing I haven't done is discuss my renewed efforts with hubster. It's an odd situation. He'll try to be supportive I'm sure, but he's not going to believe it until he sees it from me, so he won't go out of his way to accommodate me. That's fine - I can deal with that. Besides, he's not the one with the problem.
I've been thinking about walking at work - though I couldn't figure out when I could do it. I mean - when I get to work, I work until I leave and that includes lunch. 4-10's are a different beast, but I do like the 3 day weekends.
Anyway, I was telling female co-worker about perhaps walking and she said she'd walk with me. I asked her what time she got to work. 5:30 am!! Hell - she's there before me! So I've committed to being at work tomorrow at 5:30-5:45 am. Without a doubt, I'll bitch my way out of bed in an even louder voice - we'll see how it goes. I hate getting up earlier and here I am to committing to getting up even earlier!
I'm going to read a bit more of TDF tonight - can't stay up too late since I have to get up early.
I'm planning for a good week.