Well...here I am...
...maintaining status quo.
This past week was busy, busy, busy from hosting an offsite for co-workers at my house to getting everything tidied up with hubster's accident and finding a new car to running down to Salt Lake with a friend for the day on Friday (3 hours or so each way) to getting the washing machine repaired.
I didn't make any progress this week - meaning I weigh the same this week as I did last week. This makes it two weeks in a row. But I don't think all was lost.
There were various food situations this week that I didn't particularly like. It's mostly because these situations leave the door open for me to make less than good decisions about what I need to do. However, I think I did okay this week. On the scale of balance, I think I ended up about even in the situations.
I made a huge pot of chili for the off-site - all from fresh ingredients, so it was all good for me. However, there were Frito's for some folks and I had some. I wasn't a pig about it and the amount was reasonable, but there was room for improvement. I had a large basket of candies - bars, kisses, etc and I didn't touch those. As a matter of fact, the basket is still there along with those truffles - it's all fine. Not an attractor.
During the off-site, I noticed my co-worker who has officially lost 30 lbs now and is looking awesome. She was very careful and seemed to float through all the food decisions with ease. I'm so glad her head is in it..in the game. She is a good example for me and a reminder that I can do it too.
Another situation that sticks out in my head was the trip to Salt Lake City. The friend I went with is an interior designer and she was going to meet a local client who was also in SLC and do some shopping as well as some other work-related things, re: more shopping. All good. My friend is young enough to be my daughter really and is very fit. She's told me that she was chubby when she was younger and has shown me photos. That was a long time ago. Her client was about my friend's ago and was also thin and quite tall.
So we're down in SLC and it's mid-afternoon and we're trying to figure out lunch. They're talking about hurrying up and having something so we can go back to shopping. I'm wondering if I'll be able to find something awesome to eat. I tell them that I had no preference where we ate. We end up at Quizno's. The last time I ate at Quizno's, almost 7 years ago, I had a full-length, 12 inch sandwich. I don't know why I remembered that, but I did. My second thought was that I would be embarassed to eat a big sandwich like that in front of these women. I ended up ordering the smallest sandwich I could along with a cup of chili. I don't know why I didn't order a salad - probably because I didn't want one even though that would have been the best choice.
While we're eating, they're talking and talking about eating. The client is talking about how she eats all day long and the amount of food she eats. Hell, I think I gained weight just from listening to her discussion. My friend says she has to remember to eat. I damn near fell out my chair. And just let me say now, I wanted to slap the shit out of her. I wish I had to remember to eat.
Later on in the day when the client was leaving us, my friend gave her a handful of chocolate candy (that she had gotten from my house) and told her it was for her trip back. The client thanked her and said that she would be able to make it back to where she was going...since she always had to be eating.
On the way home that evening, we were talking about different restaurants when she mentioned In-N-Out Burger. She said she loved it and asked if we could go there - that I would *love* it. Well, we went and I did not love it. The food excursion was just not worth it. The only saving grace was that I knew right away that I didn't like it. I peeled away as much of the bun as I could, had about half the fries, and didn't bother to finish the shake. I've heard about the place for years and have heard rave reviews, but I just don't get it. Lesson learned.
I have my doctor's appointment on Wednesday. As of right now, the scale is down between 8-10 lbs, so I think that's a positive outcome for the last six weeks. I had envisioned myself being down 20 lbs and just wooing and aweing the doctor with my ability to easily lose weight. What a dumbass thought. If it were that easy, I wouldn't be in this spot in the first place! I'm not where I want to be, but I am trying every single day. It's a winding road, but I think I'm learning