Well...here I am...
...I think things are moving in a positive direction.
In this instance, I'm referring to the chatter in my head. I really am not perfect...far, far from perfect, but yet I feel that in some areas of my life I must be perfect in order to succeed.
What sort of bullshit is that? How long can I expect to live up to that expectation? Well...not long.
I've really paid attention lately to all the shit I say to myself - it ain't pretty. I've also somehow managed to take a breather when I start getting food-frazzled. I'm also trying to let go of some of the constraints and rules that I put on myself. A good thing.
For instance, we had a work function on Thursday night and they had food - polenta squares, roasted vegetables, mozzarella balls, and stuff like that. It was quite awesome. Well I had two of those little appetizer plates and a beer. Turned the second beer down. Originally, we were planning to go to dinner after the function, but when the time came I realized that I was full and I really had had enough to eat - so we came on home. Couple that with the fact that I really was exhausted - well, it was an easy decision and good for me!
And again yesterday - hubster and I slept late - mostly because I had stayed up Friday night and binge-watched House of Cards - excellent season by the way. Anyway, I hadn't eaten breakfast and it was mid-afternoon by the time we got something to eat. When we got home about 5, hubster asked if I was hungry and I said no. There was no need to fix dinner if we weren't hungry. I ended up eating some wings about 8:30 and that was good enough.
Eating when hungry. What a novel concept?!
One thing I have noticed is that when I make some progress with a new low on the scale, I'm apt to give myself more leeway because I've been good. This is detrimental and not helpful in anyway - mostly because that leeway leads to the scale move in the wrong direction. I'm working on that beast with some success.
I'm trying to keep it simple - complicated doesn't work very well. I'm also trying to not just think of the moment, but the next moment as well when I'm confronted with a food issue or temptation.
This is the way it's been going. As a result, the scale is slowly
starting to move in a downward direction, but I'm trying not to obsess
about that either.
The work stress is still a bear and I'm starting to have trouble with my neck again. When I have my doctor's appointment in a few weeks, I'm going to talk with him about it, because it's worse this time and I can feel the nerve pain in more places this time. I was laid up Sunday-Monday of this past week because of it. Yuck.
Phase two of the house remodel starts tomorrow, so that's gonna raise some dust.
Hubster leaves at the end of the week for a few weeks. Upon his return, we'll head to Tennessee for his mother's 80th birthday.