Well...here I am...
...busy, busy, busy.
There's a lot going on as usual, but my head is in a good place...mostly.
There's no doubt that I've had trouble over the last year. I got back in the habit of hedging my bets instead of just doing it. I'm slowly making my way back - my head's in a good place in trying to get it all figured out without beating myself up, making excuses, etc.
First things first - I had another doctor's visit. Two pounds down over the last six weeks. Given that I'm trying to get it right in a permanent sort of way instead of a short term fix, I'm happy with that. The doctor and I got in to an argument with him being Mr. Positive and me being the naysayer. I've started walking and he told me that it was probably why I didn't lose more weight. I called bullshit. Clearly, I'm building up cardio endurance, but I'm not building muscle. We went back and forth and it ended with me telling him that I didn't mind that he was wrong.
He commented at one point while looking at my record that we needed "to speed things up". I told him no. While I would love to lose every bit of this weight in a month, I will NOT take medicines or have surgeries to make me lose weight - it's not in my makeup. For me, that's not a workable option. I'll knuckle through it if I have to.
My blood pressure was 120/76. I go back in six weeks. He is still the cutest thing ever and I appreciate his positive support.
On the exercise front, it's been on my mind a lot. As usual, the follow-thru leaves a lot to be desired. I've consciously tried to be more active in my normal day-to-day activities, but I do need to do more - it's the 'doing' part that kicks my ass.
Anyway, I have dinner with a friend of mine on Tuesday nights. She's quite active and has a trainer. She had sent several texts asking me if I wanted to walk with her. Well no, as a matter of fact, I don't want to walk with her. Not because I don't like her, I like her a lot; it's because it's exercise and that exercise-hating part of me wins. In any event, at dinner one night, we discussed the whole walking thing. I came clean and told her my thoughts on exercise - that I realized that I truly needed to get my ass in gear, but that I always got in my own way. I told her that I could commit 'right now', but when the time came, I would weasel my way out of it. I was being honest about how I get in my own way.
What did this so-called friend do? Pfft. She offered to come to my house to get me!!! She said she wouldn't take excuses and that she would show up anyway! What kind of friend is that to remove my excuses!?!?! Saturday came and sure enough, she showed up at my door. She was really patient with me. It's weird to me how resistant I am to it - I wish I knew why. It was good weather and we always have a good time. What's not to like?
We drove to a local park-like area and started walking. As we passed, a fitness store, I asked her if we could stop, so we did. I went in to the store and got professionally fitted for shoes on the spot. Come to find out, I was wearing shoes that were two sizes too small. They were my daughter's shoes from about 10 years ago. I ended up buying two pairs and I'm enjoying them a lot. It's amazing what a properly fit shoe can do.
I begged out this last week because I'm running behind on an office remodel for hubster while he's out of town. She was fussed about it, but I promised that I would walk. And walk I did. I was on my feet being active for about 12 hours!!!
I've been interested in Pilates for forever and even had a trainer - one time long ago. As well, Yoga seems like such a strength-building activity that I'm also interested in. As luck would have it, I came across a PiYo set of videos today. The reviews are quite good and indicate that it's good even for out-of-shape-middle-aged women-who-make-excuses-all-the-time. I ordered them. Now to open it when it arrives and actually use it!
We've started on Phase 2 of the house remodel - this time it's a laundry room/bathroom remodel. We started on this project before hubster left for a 12 day trip. I was secretly working with the contractor and designer to have his office totally redone while he was gone. He gets back Tuesday evening and we're coming down to the wire. Folks are in there today getting the new flooring down. It's a 6-walled room, so it's been a bit of a challenge.
One area that I have to work on is this "free-eating time" after some particular event. In this case, it was the doctor visit. The doctor visit was this past Thursday. That evening, I went out to eat with a friend of mine. I did quite well at dinner with a pork belly appetizer and a half salad for the meal. The problem came in afterward when I went to Sonic for a drink. I got a Diet Coke, but I also ordered a small blast. Well, they got it wrong and it ended up being a medium - I ate the whole thing.
Then on Friday, I was fine all day, but at 9:30 we were just finishing up the day and I hadn't had dinner. I should have just grabbed something at home, but I went through the drive-thru at a local fast food mexican place and had a free-for-all.
My flawed thinking went something like this: No one will know that I ate junk. I just weighed at the doctor and did okay and I've got six weeks before I have to go back. I've been walking more, so this won't matter - I can afford to do this.
THAT is what I have to permanently get rid of - that crazy inner food nutjob voice. The logic of that thinking is beyond flawed. It's not there all the time by any stretch, but it used to be there all the time akin to the "One last pig-out before I start tomorrow." The only problem was that tomorrow never came.
I've been fine since then. I've got a slow cooker of pork. I've been eating that with veggies and I'm good.