Tuesday, April 4, 2017

4/4/17

Well...here I am...

...I haven't felt good the last couple of days.  Actually stayed home yesterday - I have postherpetic neuralgia as a result of the shingles.  Not the greatest.  Work, however, never stops.  Was on phone and email all day yesterday and today was nonstop from 7-6!

Hubster's travelling and the contractor started destruction of the deck in preparation for a new one.

I've stayed on track - I've done quite well actually.  I think the sugar is out of my system and so cravings are way down.

I'm gonna have to watch the nuts at work.  Nuts are okay in my book - the eating kind and the people kind - however, I just flat out like eat, so it could be a bad combination if I'm not careful.

Having said that - the scale was up three days in a row - 3.4 lbs over the course of the three days; however, it was down today.

That sort of thing is frustrating, but I know I've been eating fine, so it was just nature's way of playing with me I'm sure.  The tough part is knowing that you're doing the right thing and it doesn't automatically translate into a measureable result in the time *I* feel is reasonable.

Patience.  This isn't for the short term, but for the rest of my life.  I can't give up before I've even started.  Besides, *I* know this works - it did before, it will again.

Some trains of thought believe you shouldn't weigh every day, but I need to.  I need the accountability and I need to understand this is a relatively slow process.

One thing that happened today that has me in a bit of an upheaval is that I've been asked to speak at a national conference at the end of July.  Can I just say it makes me a little...a lot...nervous?  I talk in groups and in front of people all the time, but I generally know a lot of the audience.  Not in this case.

On the good side, that gives me almost 4 months to make some good, solid progress with this albatross around my neck.

Onward!

Friday, March 31, 2017

3/31/17 - In the game

Well...here I am...

hopeful that I've made it back to the space in my head I need to be.

Like many others, I've done good and I've done bad relative to weight loss.

When your head's in the game, your resolve is almost invincible - nothing will get in your way to your goal.  But then, something happens, imperceptibly it seems, and your head's not in the game any more. 

That's what happened with me.  I did so well for so long and then, little slips here, little slips there, LIFE...and all of a sudden, I look around and I wasn't in the game any more and I couldn't even get back to bat.

It's taken me a long time to get my shit together - stops and starts, lots of tears and frustration.  But I never gave up.  I worked every day to get it together, longed for my head to be in the game and wondered why I couldn't get my ducks in a row.

Lots of things contributed to it - work, stress, all the usual life things that happen to everyone.  The biggest thing though was that something else...everything else...became more important than me.  I stopped putting myself first.  I quit taking the time to take care of me.

I've always considered myself to be low maintenance and that may be so, but I've got to maintain a higher level of maintenance for myself than before. 

Lots of things have changed for me - good and bad.  A promotion to an even more stressful job; a heart issue - nothing too traumatic or life-threatening - premature ventricular contractions; neck and spinal issues; recurrent shingles, and weight gain.

Each of them alone are manageable, but it's a pain dealing with all of them at the same time.  Getting this weight off will help a lot and will probably help alleviate many of the other problems!

Again, I've finally gotten rid of all added sugars.  High fat (70%), moderate protein (25%), and low carb (5%).  That means lots of good fat, fish, chicken, some red meat, and vegetables.  I'm tracking my food on fatsecret after I eat.  Trying to change the habits and adjust in a meaningful way.  I'm also trying to get more sleep.

I'm not looking to prove anything, I'm just looking to be healthy.  It's not a contest, it's my life.  And it is indeed up to me.

Onward!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

3/29/2017

Well...here I am...

...wondering if this thing still works.

It's been a long while and a whole lot of life has occurred - heart scare, over-working, stress, shingles...all sorts of shit.  But I'm still here...and I plan to stay here.

I'm back on the wagon of no added sugar and I've gotten through the hump - I hope I stay on this side of that damn hump.  Staying with the higher fat, moderate protein structure.  I'm not eating any carbs except in the form of a vegetable.

To be honest, my weight reached an all time high, but perhaps that's part of the lesson.  I can't beat myself up because of it.  I need to take it and learn from it.

That's what I'm trying to do.

Onward!