Well...here I am...
hopeful that I've made it back to the space in my head I need to be.
Like many others, I've done good and I've done bad relative to weight loss.
When your head's in the game, your resolve is almost invincible - nothing will get in your way to your goal. But then, something happens, imperceptibly it seems, and your head's not in the game any more.
That's what happened with me. I did so well for so long and then, little slips here, little slips there, LIFE...and all of a sudden, I look around and I wasn't in the game any more and I couldn't even get back to bat.
It's taken me a long time to get my shit together - stops and starts, lots of tears and frustration. But I never gave up. I worked every day to get it together, longed for my head to be in the game and wondered why I couldn't get my ducks in a row.
Lots of things contributed to it - work, stress, all the usual life things that happen to everyone. The biggest thing though was that something else...everything else...became more important than me. I stopped putting myself first. I quit taking the time to take care of me.
I've always considered myself to be low maintenance and that may be so, but I've got to maintain a higher level of maintenance for myself than before.
Lots of things have changed for me - good and bad. A promotion to an even more stressful job; a heart issue - nothing too traumatic or life-threatening - premature ventricular contractions; neck and spinal issues; recurrent shingles, and weight gain.
Each of them alone are manageable, but it's a pain dealing with all of them at the same time. Getting this weight off will help a lot and will probably help alleviate many of the other problems!
Again, I've finally gotten rid of all added sugars. High fat (70%), moderate protein (25%), and low carb (5%). That means lots of good fat, fish, chicken, some red meat, and vegetables. I'm tracking my food on fatsecret after I eat. Trying to change the habits and adjust in a meaningful way. I'm also trying to get more sleep.
I'm not looking to prove anything, I'm just looking to be healthy. It's not a contest, it's my life. And it is indeed up to me.