Here I am...
...thinking about food chatter. It's only 2 pm and TWO food issues have been faced today.
So, it's Saturday and we had to get all the animacles to the vet by 7:30 for their checkups. The animacles consist of 1.75 dogs and a cat. The 1.75 dogs consist of a 30 lb mutt and two pomeranians - 4 and 8 lbs each - they're barely dogs. It's a drop-off visit, so we can go about our day. Our usual habit is to go to Cracker Barrel, which is what we did today.
We chatted on the way there, but some other "thing" took over my brain when we hit that restaurant. All this chatter in my head "...Oh, you've been so good and you can have a cheat day every now and again and so you can have the biscuits, and you know you like the french toast with all the butter and syrup..." I swear - it was an onslaught in my head - an hour's worth of thoughts in 30 seconds...all about food!
By the time we had gone from the table to the door, I felt a bit agitated in my head and realized that something was just throwing up in my head. As soon as hubby and I sat down, he reached for my hands and I immediately told him what had been going through my head in that short span of time. He didn't say a word, but just smiled. For every stupid thought that had gone through my head, I answered it back to my husband. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I just felt I had to answer the nonsense in my head.
Anyway, I ordered eggs, bacon, ham, and broccoli!!! The waitress gave me a funky look, but I don't care. My money will just as easily pay for broccoli at breakfast as it will at dinner. Guess what hubby ordered??? The french toast!!! When he ordered it, I gave him "the look". He simply said, "I'll give you one bite." He didn't say "a bite" or "some"; he said "one bite."
When breakfast came - he ate his breakfast and I ate mine. I didn't have "one bite" at all. To be honest, I forgot about it until later. I take that to mean that I didn't feel deprived or have any investment in that "one bite". I take that as a victory!
Now, what's wrong with "one bite"? Not a damn thing. HOWEVER, I had a pretzel shop to do around noon, so I knew I would be having to have a bite of the pretzel. Plus, my "cheat" meal is going to be at dinner tonight with our friends. We're going to a new restaurant (Greek, Turkish, Lebanese cuisine) and everyone RAVES about the candied brussels sprouts and I plan to have them without any guilt at all. Just to be clear, it's the "candied" part of the brussels sprouts that will be the cheat. I'm not so worried about the meal itself, but I haven't decided whether I'll have dessert. I'm learning towards "no" because of the sugar, but we'll see.
After breakfast, we had our usual Saturday Costco run - some prescriptions, strawberries, weed stuff, and some nuts for snacking at home and work. We were outta there lickety-split!
So...the next food thing....
I mystery shop as a hobby - yes, it's real and not a scam. Anyway, I had a pretzel shop today and since we're crazy busy later today, we decided to get it out of the way. So, blah, blah, blah I get it done and we're back in the car. One requirement is that I have to taste the pretzel. Okay - I tear off a piece and hand the rest of it to hubster. This piece fit between my thumb and forefinger.
Let me tell you - THAT WAS THE BEST DAMN BITE OF PRETZEL I'VE EVER HAD! It was quite fresh, perfectly salted, etc. Well - I stuck my hand in that bag that was now sitting between hubster's legs and got another piece! I ripped that piece in two and stuck one in my mouth and realized I was *reacting*, so I immediately slowed it down.
And here's the thing, I paid attention to how it tasted, the texture in my mouth, how it felt as I chewed it - I just savored it. Yannow, when I took that last bite - it wasn't nearly as good or as tasty as that overwhelming sensation of the first bite. I then knew that I didn't want or need any more - I was okay and took a sip of my drink. Hubby said to me, "Are you talking to yourself?" I guess I had said "okay" out loud. I guess I was.
I read somewhere before that after the third or fourth bite of something sweet, the entire sensation is totally different than the sensations of the first bite. In this case, that was totally borne out.
I've done so much mindless eating in the past and I'm trying so hard not to do that anymore. I'm not always successful, but I'm learning. Now, I'm trying to eat purposefully and mindfully with full awareness of what I'm doing. Nourishing my body instead of some sort of emotional garbage.
Two more lessons learned today. Yeah ME!