Sunday, February 9, 2014

Relapse perhaps I am...

Having a relapse...perhaps.

I felt pretty okay yesterday, but today I have a headache again and I'm just not feeling 100% at all.  My neck is stiff...again...and I just feel blah.  But ya gotta trudge on.

I think about this road I'm on all the time and I don't know if it's a good thing or not.  I don't think so much about the scale, but more about the journey - how long will it take to lose all the weight?  if/when am I going to hit a plateau? can I stick with it forever?  how will my eating adapt over time?

I feel pretty settled in and calm with everything I'm doing, but I do have a vague sense of doubt.  Perhaps I'm just not confident with these changes yet.  Keeping that mean "failure" devil on my shoulder at bay is an on-going effort, but it's not overly difficult.  It's just there.

The scale was down this morning, so that's good.  I've gotta say - I played the game of moving the scale around the floor in the hopes of getting the scale to go down just 0.2 lbs more, so that I would be less than 275!  I shouldn't be greedy, but such is me.

Talking about the scale, I was thinking today that I'll believe I'm on the right track and doing the right thing when my weight falls below 265.  Why that number?  I'm not sure, but I think it's because I've gotten to that point in recent years and then reversed direction.  I've basically lost 5 lbs in the last month.  I was hoping that it would be more like 10-12, but I have to remember that I am a 52 year old, out of shape woman.  But I am changing all that.  In any event, the scale IS down a solid 5 pounds and I'm glad of it!

Yesterday was a pretty good day.  Hubby and I slept a bit late yesterday, but made a quick trip out and about to get a few things done.  I didn't eat before we left, so I was hungry when we got home.  I was in a rush to get going because I had a nail and hair appointment, so I just ate some chicken and called it good.

My nails look really good and my hair looks great.  I really like the new style - my hair has a lot of movement now and just really works for me.  It was a new salon for me, but I will be a regular customer.

We had steak and asparagus for dinner last night.  It was quite cold outside, so hubby cooked them in the oven.  I don't know how he did it, but they were really good and tasted great.  For breakfast this  morning, I made a wonderful omelette.  It was simple - just eggs, bacon, and cheese - but it was really good.  Every time I make/eat an omelette, I think of some friends of ours in Georgia.  The first time we stayed with them, the husband made these wonderful omelettes with neufchatel cheese.  YUM!

I didn't exercise yesterday, so that meant I had to do it today.  And God knows, exercising is a struggle for me.

We have a smart TVs that has an exercise option (who knew?!?!), so I checked that out and ended up doing a 20-minute pilates segment.  It's amazing how out of shape I actually am, but I finished the 20 minutes.  Towards the end, I got an intense headache - I think it's because I was actually holding my breath instead of breathing while doing some of the moves - how stupid is that?  It took a few minutes for the headache to go away, but I'm good now.

So - mission accomplished.  It wasn't what I had planned, but I moved.  My goal now is to exercise two times in the coming week and to wear that pedometer every day and try to move a minimum of 5000 steps...each day...not for the entire week.

It's a bit frustrating that I'm so unfit.  I mean I used to do 10k steps easily, but now?  Laziness has taken over.  It's my own fault.  And if I don't start somewhere, I'll never get back there.

I've also been looking for some sugar-free desserts that I could make.  I found a website called All Day I Dream About Food.  It looks quite interesting and I'm sure I'll be looking at her recipes regularly.

Anyway, this is where I am today.


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