Saturday morning

Well...here I am...

On Saturday morning and I have a bit of a headache..

Dealing with this water weight from my period is really frustrating.  The scale is wobbling up and down.  I hope it settles down soon.

Funny thing how your mind works.  When I stepped on the scale this morning, I thought it was down a little, when in fact it was up a little.  Not a big deal really, but I was a little surprised that I was wrong.  Just a thought.

Yesterday was a really long day - dealing with folks at work, not that they're mean or anything, is sometimes tiring.  Plus, I'm in a new position and I want to do a great job for the folks that report to me because they all work so hard - for the folks I report to as well.  Being the newbie is a delicate balance.

I've got such a set pattern for my morning breakfast - a smoothie.  I mean, it's got the things I need, it tastes good, and it keeps me happy until lunchtime.  So - that's what I had for breakfast yesterday.  Lunch was with hubby at a Mexican place.

Thinking back on this, I'm reminded that this is where things can go awry.

Anyway - lunch was late and both hubby and I were starving.  When the fellow brought the chips, I didn't think anything of it.  I had no intention of eating them.  Well, I got a hunger pain - a real hunger pain - and so I ate a single chip loaded with salsa - it's made in-house and fresh - not the canned stuff...and it was so refreshing.  But that's all I had.  When I ordered lunch, I asked about sugar and msg; the server said neither of those things were added, so I got a mixed fajita plate with steak, chicken, and vegetables, black beans, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce, and tomato.  Hold the tortillas and hold the rice.  It sounds like a huge amount of food - but it wasn't so much.  There was about 6 oz of steak/chicken total.  The vegetables were broccoli, carrots, and onions.

As with the rest of the day, we also worked late and didn't leave work until almost 7 - who works that late on a FRIDAY?!?!?!  Old people!  lol

So...we decided to go to Carrabba's for dinner.  We ordered a bottle of wine and I had 2 glasses over the entire meal and water.  I ordered the pork chops with spinach and a side caesar (hold the croutons).  We also had the tomatoes caprese as an appetizer.  Well, while waiting on our food, the server brought the dreaded bread basket.  I took the heel since it was the smallest piece and divided it into 3 pieces and dredged it in the oil and spice.  It was good.

The interesting thing is that after I ate it, I must have gotten a little antsy or something.  I did have a little argument going on inside as to whether I should have 'just one more piece'.  My husband must have picked up on it or something because, without a word, he took the bread basket and moved it to his corner of the table where it was out of my reach.  I appreciated it a bunch.

Now - does a single chip with salsa at lunch and a small slice of bread in oil at dinner really bad?  Nope - not at all.  However, for me it can be the beginning of a slippery slope and one I don't want to be on at all.  I probably should consider the wine the same way, but for some reason I don't.  I guess it's because I don't have any sort of emotions tied up with wine.

Another thing too is that I decided to myself before we got to the restaurant that I was going to have some wine - I didn't decide that I was going to have even a single chip at lunch or bread at dinner.  I think that's where the separation is.  I made a decision to have the wine.  The chip and the bread were more of a reaction.

On the way home, I asked my husband how he thought I did at dinner and whether he thought the wine was okay.  His response was that I had done fine and besides it was my splurge meal, so I was okay.  That comment brought me up a little short.  First of all, I hadn't considered dinner to be a splurge at the time, but when my husband said that I knew he was right.

He and I had a conversation a while back where we talked about eating and food and I said that I would have a meal I wanted once a week - a splurge if you will.  At the time, he asked me several questions about it, such as whether it was a splurge meal or a splurge day.  I told him it was a meal and also also told him that the splurge didn't mean that I was going hog wild and eat a loaf of bread or a container of ice cream; rather, I would be something that I enjoyed and that I had decided on ahead of time.

Given what we had discussed, hubby considered that meal to be a splurge, whereas for me, it hadn't even entered my mind.  There's something telling there and I can see it, but I just can't describe it.  Hubby has no ties to food and is pretty objective in general, so it seems that his assessment is probably right.

Mind set and control - I've got to get hold of both of these things, wrap my mind around it, wallow in it, let it soak in.  I think I'm learning.  Baby steps.

When I woke up this morning, I had a bit of a headache.  I still do.  I don't know if it's from the wine, the added sugar yesterday, or TOM stuff.  All I know is that I'd rather not have a headache.

Onward...