Sunday, April 6, 2014

The aftermath I am...

...facing the aftermath!

Where to begin?

Well, hubster made it home safely late Friday night - actually, it was early Saturday morning.  He took a shower and crashed.

He got up before I did yesterday morning and made coffee.  I slept in a little late - it was a relaxing morning.  By the time we got going and ready to leave the house, it was too late for breakfast and just about lunchtime.  So we decided that we'd just eat lunch at Costco.

That wasn't a problem.  Hubby got the brisket sandwich and I got the chicken caesar salad.  Check.

I had several shops to complete which involved buying a pretzel, so that was a bit out of my normal, but I only had to have a bite, so that wasn't so bad.  After shopping three different locations, I estimated that I had eaten an entire pretzel.  That's probably an overestimation, but I wanted to play it on the safe side.  Since starting on this journey, I've avoided food shops but this was an exception.

Later in the day, we decided on the Mediterranean restaurant for dinner for date night, which was a good choice.  Now, I had planned to exceed my normal sugar/carbohydrate limits but I wasn't planning on being crazy - just a rare excursion.

So at dinner, we had the spread tray with the gemlik zeytin, hummus, babaganoush, tzatziki, muhammara, pasa ezmesi along with some lavash.  We also had some saganaki - this place has the best kasseri cheese, and an order of olives.  All of this was the appetizer and it was quite good.  I had tea and water with my meal, while hubster had a few beers.

For dinner, hubster got a scallop dish and a sausage-type dish (they're meze, so it's small portions of each.  I selected the branzino (a fish) (because I love it) and those brussels sprouts that I love so much.  It was all quite good, but I gotta say - I've had better branzino.

After dinner, we decide to skip dessert.  I love baklava and there was baklava on their menu, but we had it the last time we were there and it just wasn't worth the sugar.  Good for me!  Instead, we decided that we'd go to an ice cream shop and get an ice cream.  First, it would give our dinner time to digest a little.  Second, we could decide once we were close to the ice cream shop if we really wanted an ice cream.  Third, it would give ME time to change my mind since hubster could go either way.

I didn't change my mind.  This was the beginning of the end.

I got a single scoop of pistachio almond in a cake cone - mostly because I like the very last bite when the ice cream is in the very bottom of the cone!  I didn't feel anxious, out of control, or anything.  I was just enjoying my cone.  Knowing that the bite I was most looking forward to was the last bite, I scooped some of my ice cream in to hubster's cup.  That last bite was good and just like I expected.

Before we even left the ice cream shop, I felt bad.  By the time we drove the 2.5 miles home, I was in pain.  Twenty minutes later, my tummy was so bloated that hubby made fun of me.  A short time after that, I was so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open so I went to bed.  I didn't even get to watch SNL!!!

This morning, I felt a bit groggy and sure as hell didn't want to step on the scale.  I could FEEL the water weight in every spot in my body.  I waited as long as I could, but finally got on the scale.  As expected, my liver and muscles have been replenished with all the glycogen they can hold!  And all that water too!

The scale was up 4.4 lbs!!!!  Look at that weight chart - STRAIGHT UP!  YUCK!  I've gotta get back on the OTHER side of that trend line!  I showed my weight chart to hubby, the little shit laughed like a crazy man!  I should have called him "bald" or something.  ;-)

Number-wise, I generally average about 2400 mg sodium, 30 g CHO, and 13 g sugar.  Yesterday, I had 6300 mg sodum, 177 g CHO, and 79 g sugar.  Way out of my recent norms!

So now, it's going to take a few days to get rid of this water weight and I'm not going to know whether it's real loss or water loss until I'm back to 264-ish.  There's that.  The other thing and I'm kinda disappointed, but IT'S MY OWN DAMN FAULT, is that I was close to 263 and now I'm not.

Do I regret last night?  No, not really.  I planned it and knew what the consequence would be.  But, there's that wishful part of me that hoped that since I have been so good for so long that I would get a pass and I would miraculously show a weight loss this morning.

I do know that I will think and consider for a long time, and it will be a long time, before I have another day like yesterday.  It was enjoyable, but I don't know that I'm ready for that type of "splurge" at this point in my journey, that I'm ready to accept even a temporary, purposeful water weight gain when I have so much left to lose.  It just delays reaching my goal.  And if I'm honest looking back on it, I'm just not totally okay with it and it's stressing me out that I made the decision to splurge.  Is that crazy or what?  I don't regret it, but I'm not okay with it - maybe the sugar has sent me over the edge.  ;-) 

Plus, there are better choices I can make, still enjoy the food, and still lose.



  1. I had my 'indulgence' weekend...I'm feeling it too! So Here you go....we learned.....that's a good thing. Now back on track!

    1. MaryFran - let's make a deal - no more indulgences for a while! OK??? ;-)

  2. I came across your blog through Lyn's blog. I love your honesty! I began 230 days ago on my "journey" as some call it. I say I just finally got that I can't eat devil dogs and ho-ho's all day and stay small! So , I started at 300 lbs on the dot! Shocked at my weight *even though I knew I was close to that* I began... and down 52 lbs to date! I love how you speak about your ups and downs and show you graph on your weight, pure honesty!!!
    I haven't had my indulgence weekend yet! I'm afraid to. I've allowed myself a bite or two on something but thats as far as I go. I fear anyone near me when it happens! LOL Thanks for putting your life out there and those 4 lbs will be gone like lightning speed!

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    2. Rosie!!! Thank you so much!! I just free-write whatever's in my head at the moment. I hope you continue to enjoy and please post often!

      52 lbs in 230 days?!?!?! You are totally AWESOME!!!


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