Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Back to basics I am...

...trying to get back to basics.

As always, it's been busy.  We're flying out Friday night so we can look at houses on Saturday - we think we've found THE one, but are looking at several.  We're flying back at 6 am Sunday morning, so we can be home by mid-afternoon, get house stuff and laundry done, and then off to work on Monday.  I would so love to move our stuff from one house directly into another without any intermediate housing.  I'm not looking forward to two house payments for any length of time, but it's certainly better than intermediate housing!

I haven't even thought about putting up a Christmas tree yet.

In the midst of all the never-ending activity, I'm trying to keep a little light focused on me.  I've tracked all week - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  For the most part, it's good but the holiday parties do put a kink in the plans.

Yesterday was the first of the holiday parties at work.  This particularly party was for hubster's area and is always off-site at a local restaurant.  This year there was a choice of shrimp tacos, vegetable bowl with couscous, cheese burger, or grilled salmon and broccoli.  Hubster made the choices and he did a good job - he got the salmon for me, so I was quite pleased.  However, I had a beer and a brownie.  Neither are life-threatening, but they are weight-loss threatening.

Afterwards, I regretted the brownie because that was a weakness; somehow I don't see the beer as being a weakness, even though it's off-plan as well.  I don't know why I see them so differently, but I do.  An excuse in the making perhaps?  It got me to really thinking about the upcoming few weeks and months.

This weekend will be all eating out - the hotel serves a breakfast I can eat, so I'm good there.  I'll have to make sure the realtor understands I need something more of a sit-down rather than a fast-food restaurant for lunch.  Dinner is with friends I think.  If that falls through, issue mostly solved, but we'll still be eating out.

I have lunch with my best friend here on Monday, my area's Christmas party is Wednesday, our son comes home on Thursday, lunch meetings on Friday, daughter home Friday night, Christmas lunches on following Monday and Tuesday with special friends.  I have a Brazilian grad student who will not be able to make it home for the holidays, so she is spending the holiday with us.

I'm happy for each and every one of these events, but each of them has the possibility of providing too many choices that are too overwhelming.  Plus, there are so many of them.

How to deal?  I dunno, but I've been thinking about it.  When I started this whole thing, I didn't have any goals...any real specific goals except do the best I can and don't eat sugar.

I think that's what I'm gonna do here - the best I can and not eat sugar.  Everything else is okay.  This still leaves me with a lot of options, but they are more manageable options.

I've also strayed from my plan weight loss goals.  By that I making specific deadline weight loss goals.  That SO does not work for me, but somehow I've started doing it again.  I've always screwed myself over when I've done that - it really is a lot of pressure.  I'd fail, so I'd know I wouldn't make the goal, so I'd just give up - why bother - you're fat anyway, what's this gonna hurt?  Negative talk is just that negative.

So again, the best I can and don't eat sugar.  There are no deals to be made here - just two simple things.  My brain tries to fool me into making bad deals, but this ol' body of mine isn't fooled by bad deals at all!

But I've got to keep it simple over the coming weeks and months.  It can't be elaborate because it won't work - I can see and I know that anything elaborate won't work.  It's got to be simple.  Simple works.  I'm honestly at a dangerous point - like I'm teetering on a tight rope.  I'll be damned if I'm going to let all the work of the last year go to shit by falling into the abyss.

Food-wise, there is no re-doing what's gone on before - I can only do what's coming up.  God knows I hope I'm strong enough to make the right choices for myself.



  1. Look, you are going through a really stressful time. Don't make it harder on yourself by adding a layer of guilt by eating the wrong things. EACH TIME YOU DO IT. That's a lot of layers of guilt, if you let it be. Regret SUCKS. Way more than missing the brownie or the beer. ;)

  2. Try to remember you are doing this for your long term health. This is not a "diet" this is to save your life literally! There are lots of studies out recently on the harm sugary carbs do to our brains nobody wants Alzheimer's . People who eat lots of processed foods especially sugar carbs are putting there self at risk period.
    Please take care of yourself you are the only one of you that you have. Also, Gwen has a great point as well.

  3. I will keep my fingers crossed that the house you are thinking is the one turns out to be perfect!

    I agree that Gwen has a great point ... at the end of the day you will be proud of yourself staying the course instead of regretting what you did choose to eat.

  4. You can do it by keeping it simple, just as you suggested! No sugar. No overeating. Making the best choices with more eating out due to the move. Drink water. Pass on the bread baskets. I admire you for keeping at it during this time. Just imagine what you'll accomplish once you are settled into your new home!

  5. The more simple the better! And the more your choice the better too! When you feel you are in control and CAN have sugar if you WANT to, then you stop thinking about it so much.

    The other day there were doughnuts and I wanted one and said no to myself...then I wanted it even more. Then I said, yes, you can have as many as you want! Then suddenly I relaxed and my body was all, heck, I don't want any...they'll make me feel gross.

    Kinda cool;)

  6. COME BACKKKKK! Hope you had a lovely Christmas. I miss you.

  7. Thinking of you today. Getting back to basics--and allowing yourself to be okay, regardless of what has happened--is critical. Self-compassion is key, LM. I applaud your efforts in getting back to basics and taking good care. One step at a time---one day at a time... Lucky Mama, you're wonderful. I hope you know this!


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