Sunday, March 22, 2015

Settling down/in I am...

....I think I may be settling down and settling in.

I'm not 100%, but my level of awareness is increasing and the good decisions are greatly outweighing the poor choices.  The excuses are happening less often - the last several days have been on point.  I just have to make sure tomorrow is too.  And yannow what?  I'm pretty sure it will be.

Crabby McSlacker commented on my last blog about how effort/stress in one part of your life can lead you to putting others areas that require willpower on the sidelines.  That's clearly what I've done.  The problem - the thing that pulled me up - was I had the "it can't happen to me" attitude.  Then when it DID start happening that evil little voice of "it'll be okay, don't worry about it" became a regular occupant of my inner voice. 

Crabby's comments really struck home with me and caused me to think a lot about how to put all my shit in one sock.  It was, it is, and it will forever be - a work in progress.

And that's okay.

I've been working to notice and take heed of those moments and decisions that can lead me down the wrong path.  For instance, I finally had some alone time yesterday with hubster doing his own thing at home and then going to see some guys at work for guy night.  I was invited to hang out with the spouses, but didn't want to. 

So yesterday morning, I had an egg and cheese omelet and then went on my way.  There was a local craft fair that I wanted to check out and then I needed to do some clothes shopping.  After the craft show, I realized that I was *really* hungry.  It had been about 6 hours since I had eaten.  There were a lot of fast food places around and I decided on Chick-fil-A.  When I got in the drive-thru and looked at the menu board, I thought of all sorts of stuff.  I thought of how I used to take my grandmother there to get a chicken sandwich - I can still see her eating it in my mind.  She enjoyed them so much and had an odd way of holding the sandwich.

Then I started looking at all the options on the menu board and it all looked appealing.  Then I thought, "AHA!  This is exactly NOT the way I need to be thinking."  At that moment, it was my turn to order, so I told the girl to wait for a second.  Finally, I asked her for the smallest nugget order with no fries and a drink.  I was in a situation - that I put myself in - that could have gone dramatically different.  I realized that what I needed was just enough to not be hungry - and 4 nuggets was it.  Kinda interesting how a good memory momentarily fogged my decision-making process.

After doing some serious damage clothes shopping since I need to dress professionally in the new job and I've kinda been limping along (yuck - I do miss my jeans-wearing days at work), it was another 5 hours later and I was hungry again.  Hubster wasn't home for dinner, so I was left to my own devices.  I got takeout from a steak restaurant and came home to eat.  I had ordered a side house salad and plain sweet potato with the steak; however, there were also 4 rolls that they had put in the bag.  And kudooz to me - yes I know I spell it rong HA! - I put those little puppies in the refrigerator for hubby to have later.

Both those decisions came from a place of awareness and consciousness.  While those decisions by themselves aren't earth-shattering by themselves, it's the sum of all those little decisions that are, indeed, earth-shattering and are gonna be the difference and make all the difference in my eventual success. 

I also think about all the other folks I've been reading over the last year or so.  Each time I go to the salad bar at work, I think of Gwen writing, "NO CROUTONS".  I think of how successful Diva has been on her journey and how much fortitude she's got.  I think of Crabby and imagine what she'd say to me.  I think of Karla and how she's struggling, but sticking with it.  I think of Lori and how she stays with it even when she's frustrated.  I think of Kitty who is finally at a weight she likes.  And doggone it, every time I read Sean Anderson's blog, I feel like he's been spying on me or something - he always hits home!

Finally, I really don't want to have to re-lose any more weight.  This shit has been hard, but so very worth it.  I can either lose the weight I've re-gained and keep going from there or I can continue to gain the weight I lost - I don't want to do a 360 - just a 180! 

It's a simple choice.  And I'm a smart woman.



  1. You are a smart woman! Smart choice. Take it from me, you don't want to regain another pound to have to lose again. It's awful going up. I agree, the wonderful part of blogging is taking nuggets from everyone's journey and applying it to our own. Even if people are losing weight in a different way than our plan dictates, there is something to be learned from everyone. I know I take nuggets of wisdom from you!

  2. Good to see a post from you. Good to see you back
    on the band wagon and making good choices under
    fire. I admire that you can eat out side of the home and
    still make good choices and lose weight. The cool thing
    about reading blogs is that we are inspired to take action
    by other peoples journey and successes! Onward!

  3. You are right, making those seemingly small decisions to stick with your plan add up. Congratulations on making good choices.

  4. You ARE a smart woman! :)

    and thanks for the shout out.

    p.s., due to godaddy issues, I've moved my blog again. If you could reflect that in your blogroll? I'm at:

    thanks. :)

  5. You are a smart woman!!! Keep making the good choices they really do add up to success!


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