Sunday, September 20, 2015

Clothes Shopping I am...

...I've been clothes shopping.

...and it sucked.

I'm heading to Texas next weekend for my daughter's best friend's wedding.  It's amazing to see how these little giggly girls have grown into such beautiful young women.

I checked my closet and because of the weight gain nothing fits.  My work clothes won't work well because they're all black. I went.

It was incredibly frustrating because the sizes are up again - 22's.  As if shopping wasn't bad enough, all I could think of was how I've failed.  I was in 18s and XLs in January and now I'm right back where I started.  I was getting to the point where I had options and could find clothes that looked good.  And now, there are few options.  I felt like I was just settling for something that fit.  Actually there was no feeling to it - it was exactly what I did - I settled.

I hate it.  Flat out hate it.  Scream at the top of my lungs hate it.

The day just made me think of everything in negative terms and reminded me of how far I've fallen and how far have to go.  It's hard to get out of that mindset sometimes with one negative thought leading to another.  You're so fat, you're so ugly, you only got so far and couldn't do it, people are gonna stare at you, you're the fattest person in the room, you must be stupid to be this fat, etc. etc.  AD NAUSEUM

It was quite sobering.  I'm a bit bent out of shape about it, but I do realize that these negative thoughts won't do me a damn bit of good.

The important thing about buying these clothes is that it means I'm going to witness a wonderful young woman get married and I get to spend the weekend with my kids.  Those are the important things.  Further, I don't think my fatness is going to be on anyone's radar.

The week was good.  It wasn't perfect, but it was definitely an improvement over previous week.  I even had one day that was totally on.  I'm trying to get back to the place where my diet consists completely of non-processed foods.

Another thing that got me to thinking this week was something I said.  I was in a meeting this week and someone said, "I hope we meet this deadline."  I immediately commented, "Hope is not a plan.  We will make this deadline."  Anyway, a fellow who works for me came to my office afterward and said that he really liked what I said.  I'm sure I've heard it before, but don't remember where.  But it's true - hope is not a plan.

So in like fashion, I can't hope to lose weight, I can't hope to be healthy, I'm gonna have to plan both.  I've gotta watch for curves in the roads and the bottlenecks, but I've gotta plan.

And besides dammit - I'm not giving up.  IT - whatever IT is might have won the battle, but I WILL WIN THE WAR!



  1. You will do it! Turn those negative thoughts into motivation and make a plan.

  2. So what is your plan? I need motivation!!! Let's win this war!!!

  3. It's easy to be frustrated about where you are. BUT first things first......accept yourself for who you are right now. Be it a size 2 or are fabulous! Once you've accepted the fact that you are fabulous, lets make the plan and make changes. Lets figure it out! You've got it in you. No looking back at what you gained....none of that. it's only going to drag you down. Lets look to the big bright future!!!!!! Plan away!!!

  4. Nothing like a depressing shopping experience to get you motivated! I felt the pain in your post, as I have lived it. But, you're not giving up and ti will get better!

  5. This beautifully shaped and well-made ceramic Wax Melt Burner houses a tea light at its bottom and provides a safe, contained well for the Wax Melts

  6. Buy Hip Hop Instrumentals rap beats online, DBinstrumentals is the home of music producer Dreas Beats, who is notorious for having the best rap beats and hip hop beats online.

  7. A candle is wax with an ignitable wick embedded that provides light, and in some cases, a fragrance. It can also be used to provide heat, or as a method of keeping time.A Candles manufacturer is traditionally known as a chandler . Very effectively written, I hope next time is often fantastic, thanks for sharing

  8. Thanks for the valuable feedback. I think that strategy is sound and can be easily replicable.Great posts. I love this article. Kastyle Danmark designer, Billige smykke, fremstiller moderne Danske smykker .Du køber direkte fra grossisten hvilket betyder,at du sparer den normale butiksavance på ca. 30-70%.

  9. I am John, how are you everybody? This article posted at this site is average
    Yadox Search

  10. Thank you so much for taking the time for you personally to share such a nice info. I definitely enjoying every little bit of it. It is a great website and nice share.
    Online shopping in Qatar

  11. Welcome, essentially expected to tell you, I took pleasure in this site section. It was sharp. Keep posting!
    Natural baby items Erie

  12. All right, you are correct buddy, on a regular basis updating weblog is actually necessary in support of Search engine optimization. Nice argument keeps it up.

    Popular cheap products

  13. I all the time used to read piece of writing in news papers but now as I am a user of internet therefore from now I am using net for articles or reviews, thanks to web.
    Long Sleeve Ribbed Dress

  14. It used to be that when looking for baby boy clothes there was not a great deal of choice. cash4clothesexpert


Leave your comments here.