Wednesday, September 2, 2015

What a week I am...

...what a week.

It seems my days are packed, but I don't feel like I'm getting anything done.  Today was one of those days.  I think part of my verklemptedness is how the day is starting.  With all the work being done in the house, we're just every where.  I shower in the basement, but get ready in the half-bath upstairs and dress in the laundry room.  I'll be so...

Actually...this is just an excuse.  My days are packed and I don't feel like I'm getting anything done; however, I'm just flat out not making the best choice when I have the opportunity.  I mean, sometimes I have no choice and I have to make do, but even then I could plan better.  Sometimes, I do have a choice, but I don't always pick the lesser of two evils.  That's fine to do sometimes, but not with the regularity I have.

The only really good food choice I made today was when I told hubster that I just flat out did not want to go out to dinner.  There were a multitude of good reasons for it.  At the same time, it brings up another subject for me though and I understand the issue in my head, but I'm not sure I can explain it.  It only happens at the end of the day as well.

I was running late this morning because my schedule was off since I was spending the day in meetings at another location.  So what did I do?  I ran by the gas station on the way to work.  What the hell is it with me?

At lunch, it was the cafeteria.  I had a choice between a corn chowder with lots of corn and potatoes or shepherd's pie with broccoli.  I chose the pie since it was the better choice - there was very little potato.

So - after work, I had to run across town for a manicure and the traffic was on my side.  I passed by Dairy Queen and saw that there was no line, which meant I had extra I stopped for a medium blizzard.  It filled me up and I ate it on the way to the nail place.  The time was about 5:45...right at dinner time.

After the manicure, I ran by the mall to see if there was anything on sale.  We're going to visit the in-laws this weekend and I thought it would be nice to have something new.  As usual, the plus-sized clothes have no style.  I was SO CLOSE to regular sizes not that long ago...*sigh*

On the way home, I called hubster and told him what I'd been doing.  He asked what I wanted for dinner and gave me some restaurant options.  From the frustration at the store and the full feeling...or rather the realization of the full feeling...I told hubster that I didn't want to go anywhere for dinner, but just stay home.  I did not tell him about the visit to DQ.

Anyway, this was the first time I think in my entire life that I realized that having something that substantial that close to meal time should count as the meal itself.  I'm making no claims on the nutritional value of it - just really the caloric value.  I mean...a dinner meal is supposed to be eaten at a table with meat and vegetables.  It doesn't count if it's ice cream eaten in the car.

So I didn't eat "dinner" - though I did have 3 chicken wing drumettes - just trying to be honest here...and it's effing hard.

I didn't do well today, but I'm not giving up.  It's what I did and I can't undo it, but I will keep on going. 

I don't know that I'll be able to post while we're out of town.  I might just try - it's gonna be stressful as hell.



  1. I think you did right to eat the chicken wings so don't feel bad! If you hadn't had anything after the ice cream, you would have been so hungry.

    With so many people overweight or obese, I don't know why plus size clothes can't be more attractive.

    Hope your trip goes well.

  2. Keep being honest. It will bring you to where you need to be...emotionally strong for the fight. I'm not giving up on you.


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