Sunday, August 28, 2016

08/28/2016 I am...

I finally figured out how to deal with the stress of titling a post - I'll just use the date.  Such an easy solution that's taken forever to figure out...silly me.

There's lots of stuff going on lately.  A friend of mine's brother committed suicide on Thursday - I've been worried about her, but she seems to be dealing with it.  She will return from Texas at some point in the coming week.  We also found out today that one of my husband's uncles, and our family favorite, passed away earlier today.  He was 83 and had been dealing with cancer for the last while.  When we lived in Maryland, he would come spend some holidays with us because he lived in northern Virginia.

We've also had fires around here lately.  The Henry's Creek fire started last weekend and has burned almost 53000 acres.  It was visible from our deck - though miles away - earlier in the week.  It's been playing hell with the air quality.  Today was the first "clear" day we've had.  The only positive is that we've had some incredibly beautiful sunsets as a result of the crap in the air.

My 55th birthday was yesterday.  I've been struggling with it - not because I'm 55 (but holy shit - how in the world can I be 55??  I've got the maturity of a 14 year old!), but rather because I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be.  To deal with that, I've been having to do a lot of talking to myself.  While I'm not near a goal weight, I'm doing an awful lot of good things that are gonna help me get to where I want to be.

I've been working out regularly with the trainer - so that's a very good thing.  I've also been working on being more active when I'm not working out with some success.  Not perfect, but I am doing better.  One change up in the workout is that a friend of mine who also works out with the same trainer has joined me for the Friday session.

Can I just tell you that it kicked both our asses?  It's Sunday and I'm more sore today than I've been in a long time.  We're not competing at all, but I think the rest intervals are less because we don't want to keep the other one waiting.  She's quite sore as well, so at least I'm not alone.  Since the weather was pretty, she and I also walked 2.3 miles together today.  I thought the walking would help with some of the soreness from Friday's workout, but it did not.

The biggest thing I've done though is that I joined Weight Watchers this past Friday (8/26).  My friend also joined with me - I think for the first time ever, it will good to have a partner in crime for this.  I'll say at the outset that I'm not a fan of counting points and such and I don't plan to majorly change my way of eating because I believe it is the way to go for me.  The one change I've made is to add some fruit.

My problem is volume.  There's no doubt in my mind at all that my problem is that I'm a volume eater.  I don't seem to have a natural "off" switch when it comes to eating, so getting portion sizes under control can't be anything but a good thing.  Having said that, I will be adhering to the plan guidelines and counting and staying within the daily/weekly points as required of the plan.  I don't plan to use the activity points - though I've earned 43 since Friday according to the WW app (which is sync'd to my Fitbit).  I think that's a good thing.

On the volume eating thing, last Thursday is a good example.  Hubster and I went to Texas Roadhouse and we both ordered the 16 oz. ribeye.  I absolutely could have eaten my entire steak and the only reason I didn't is because hubster stopped at about half a steak.  Since I didn't want to look like a pig, I stopped.  It's good that I stopped, but there's something wonky about the reason I stopped.

One thing I've discovered lately is fruit and purple onions in salad.  OMG - it's fantastic and just about removes the need for any sort of salad dressing.

That's about it.  Lots of stuff going on, but it's all a part of life I suppose.


RIP Uncle Julius.  We will miss you.

Monday, August 8, 2016

In a zone I am... a zone.

Things have been good lately.  Things seem to be falling in to place in my head - nothing high, nothing low - just even and level.  Decisions are easy at the moment and I can see the road and the goal ahead.  All the bullshit is just falling effortlessly by the wayside.  If I could bottle it, I would because the struggle right now is minimal.  Seems hard to believe that I could ever feel any other way.

I've got to learn how to maintain this strength, this resolve for a lifetime.  I've always told myself that it all matters, but in the end "all" really isn't that much.  I have to be kind to myself, I have to make time for myself, I have to be mindful in making food choices, and I have to be patient.  If I can continue to do these four things, I can reach this goal that has seemed, at times, insurmountable.

Exercise has always been an issue for me - it's not something I naturally gravitate to and I've had back issues lately, so I have to be mindful of that, but I've come up with what I think may be a solution.  Now all I have to do is DO IT!

I meet with Mr. Evil twice a week and we concentrate on weight lifting.  He really does kick my ass - it is never easy and he refuses to believe that I'm a fat old lady that can't do it.  I have to say he is one of the most encouraging people I've come across.  I might even secretly say that I'm enjoying....nevermind...I'm not say that.

That's the only exercise that I've committed to, though he has told me that I need to get 45 minutes of brisk activity on two other days.  While I've been more active overall, it has been hit or miss.

I'm pretty busy at work most days, but it can vary from walking everywhere to where I get close to 7500 steps or it can be a "meeting" day where I get few opportunities to get some steps on the activity monitor.

Given this scenario, I've committed to myself that I'm going to finish each day on the elliptical with the goal of reaching 10000 steps.  If I've walked 7500 steps by the time I get home, I only have to do 2500 steps; if I've passed the 10000 step goal, I'm golden.  However, if I've only done 3000 steps, that means I have some work to do.

As far as the back stuff goes, I've seen everyone - chiropractic, physical therapy - all of it.  The thing that is working is a deep-tissue massage every two weeks.  It has helped me a ton.  I also use a heating pad every day for about an hour after I go to bed at night.  I'm not a pill-popper, so that's not on the table.

I hope, hope, hope that I can maintain this mentality, this frame of mind.  I'll work to make it happen.

One last piece of exciting news for me.  My daughter and I are going to see both Adele and Sia - two days apart in Austin in November!  Yeah!!!