Sunday, October 16, 2016

10/17/2016 I am...

...always running to keep up lately!

Normally, when bloggers don't blog for a while, it means they're fallen off the wagon.  I'm happy to say that's not the case here.  I'm still going to WW for some accountability.  I'm down 13.4 lbs since the end of August.

I don't particularly agree with WW's emphasis on penalizing fats, but I absolutely agree with their emphasis on getting rid of added sugars.  So - I continue to eat the way I eat - meats, veggies, and minimal fruit.  My issue is volume and quantity and this program is helping me maintain awareness of that issue.

As a consequence, I'm learning - relearning actually - that it's the big picture that matters, but all the little decisions matter as well.  One screw-up today doesn't mean I need to throw in the towel.  The success of the big picture does indeed come from the little decisions.  I've got two recent examples.

I had a 2 day work retreat a few weeks ago and just flat out stopped thinking about what I was doing and made mindless choices.  There was enough variety food that I could have made good choices, but I didn't - I just gave up.  I wasn't able to attend a meeting that week so I didn't have that accountability and it just led to a second week of non-accountability.  When I finally weighed after two weeks, I had a nice GAIN.  It was big enough that it wasn't in the daily fluctuation.

That was an incredible example of not taking charge and letting shit happen.

Another example at the other end of the spectrum was Saturday a few weeks ago.  I attended a party at a co-worker's house.  The theme was Southern - so I baked a pecan pie for the party.  I've made so many pecan pies in my life that I rarely eat an entire slice - a bite to taste is sufficient for me.  However - all the other stuff at this party - well, I didn't hold back.  There were frog legs, fried chicken, fried catfish, macaroni and cheese, and all kinds of other stuff.  Then, later that afternoon and evening, we watched a college football game and TAMU won - WHOOP! -  and I ate and celebrated there as well.

Throughout that picnic, I didn't have a crap-ton of everything, but a rather conservative amount of everything I wanted.  The same thing with dinner that night.  My food was very conservative, but I had a bourbon drink and a shot of Irish whiskey.  This racked up points.

Now this wasn't a usual day, but I still made sure I accounted for it all and the points were staggering.  I used all the daily points as well as all the weekly points.  Okay - that sucked, but I wasn't going to beat myself up about it.  God knows I need to be done beating myself up about food, weight, and a whole slew of other things.  Anyway, instead of beating myself up - I was super diligent the rest of the week.  I made sure I ate good proteins and really loaded up on veggies.  It was a good thing and I ended up the week with a nice LOSS.

This is a great example of taking charge and making shit happen.

Out of all this, I'm trying to learn to just live healthy, get the weight off, and not obsess.  I'm learning is that I need to be mindful all the time.  I'm also learning that it's a fine line between being mindful and obsessing.

I'm still working out with the trainer.  We've switched one of the workouts to a yoga/pilates mix - I think that will suit me better and perhaps help with some of my back issues.  On the days that we do weights, we've switched to a bootcamp style of workout.  I do three sets and each set has four exercises and each set is done 3 times with 15 reps each of each exercise.  It kicks my ass, but I'm feeling stronger.  If someone had told me that I'd be doing 60 lbs on my triceps, I would have told them they were crazy.

Yesterday was a big anniversary for me.  It was 13 years ago that I had my left kidney removed due to kidney cancer.  It was the beginning of a rough road that lasted several years.  Paradoxically, it was also the beginning of the weight gain due to a second thyroid cancer diagnosis and severe depression.  While I don't like being overweight, this is infinitely preferable to the alternative.